I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here Megamix

I'm still watching, but it's like a dirty addiction you don't want, and don't like, a meth habit for the mind. The main interesting thing is Timmy Mallet, who is absolutely baffling as a person. Even after winning the trial yesterday, he still managed to piss everyone off. He is fake, fake, fake and he would drive me nuts in there, because he's not letting us see him, with all his silly 80s nonsense; 'oo-er missus' and itsy-bitsy-ohgodIcan'twritethewholethingout. He's like a faded movie star clinging to his most famous role, except his most famous role was being usurped by a pink squidgy mallet. Timmy, you are destroying the 80s dream by being so unpleasant. Boo.
Now David is also peculiar person. His manipulating of Timmy to take him to the bridge (!) with his 'all friends together' shtick was effect yet very creepy. He is a desperate, immature man.
Nicola McClean is an awful person. Shallow, proud to be stupid, monotone voice. It's like Jordan all over again, but Jordan with less charisma (tricky, I know). Also, her boobs are absolutely grotesque and not anything any woman should aspire too. Boobs in place of a personality. Tragic. It really bugs me how people with implants are always like 'feel my boobs' too. Er... no thanks, I've got my own. Her performance tonight consisted of; 'It's not rocket science/ if you've got a problem, just say it' and head bobbing like Saskia of Big Brother past on steroids.
Mickey almost won me over when he said 'I'm not shouting, I'm just talking loudly.' but not quite.
Dani going to bed because someone else cooked was absolutely pathetic. Why do people get so territorial about that shit? Take turns, idiots! I can't stand endless conversations about foods on reality shows. It really is dull as fuck.
PS: talking of food, what the fuck are those king prawn SPOONS on the Iceland advert? I think the word 'yuck' needs to be reinvented for this occasion. Even Katona would turn her nose up.

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here: Moron Watch

OK, the final go before I join the cult, or give up.
That page three girl is interminable; I can think of few things less sexy than women who won't let their partners see them without make up on; do you think she pauses mid romp (!) to put bronzer on or comb her hair (I bet she does!) Good looking people moaning about how ugly they are is only marginally less annoying than skinny people moaning they are fat. Yes, you are generically good looking, and thin. Now go read a book, dumbass.
Am I the only one to find Joe Swash's cheeky chappy schtick very, very annoying? He's like some 15-year-old you went to school with. Awful. Star Trek dude is growing on me. His accent is good.
I genuinely felt like NOTHING happened tonight. It all seemed completely pointless.
Urgh, I still can't decide whether to watch it or not. It's like choosing to have a cold, or a minor disfigurement. I could really be doing something more productive.
Now here's the really important question, how come my BT Vision box happily let me watched that dross, then BBC4 stopped working the second I went to watch Charlie Brooker? Seriously, fuck you, BT, and your cloying, sexist adverts. Even better; I just rescanned my channels and BBC4 has now disappeared. Lovely.
It better be up on the Iplayer the SECOND it finishes. Not happy!

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here: The Glastonbury edition

Glastonbury season without the music, your friends, food or any drugs (but with Kilroy). Thats what the rain reminded me of on tonights show. I would crack after TEN SECONDS!!! I am such a baby. And they are getting paid fuck-all as well! Mugs.
Most, but by no means all, moronic comments of the night: 'Will my boobs shrink if I lose weight?' and 'I suppose you can live on water'.
How interesting that Kilroy likes the women who's a dumb bitch but not the one who answers back.
Bushtucker trials... it's just licensed torture of desperadoes. Imagine anyone you respect doing one. It's impossible, isn't it. Whatever happened to dignity???
Kilvoy vs Brian: it was proper ape mentality. Kilroy is a piece of work! How long before the 'shirtlifters' comment? Come on, it's only a matter of time. You know it. I know it. The producers know it. Why else do you think he's there?
So is anyone coming off likeable? Martina. Dr Spock's mate. And er... I'm reserving judgement for the moment.
I'm giving it one more day before I decide if I give up on it!
PS. Mickey. Ginger and balding. He drew a seriously short straw somewhere, didn't he?
(disclaimer: I like gingers, just not him)