I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here: Moron Watch

OK, the final go before I join the cult, or give up.
That page three girl is interminable; I can think of few things less sexy than women who won't let their partners see them without make up on; do you think she pauses mid romp (!) to put bronzer on or comb her hair (I bet she does!) Good looking people moaning about how ugly they are is only marginally less annoying than skinny people moaning they are fat. Yes, you are generically good looking, and thin. Now go read a book, dumbass.
Am I the only one to find Joe Swash's cheeky chappy schtick very, very annoying? He's like some 15-year-old you went to school with. Awful. Star Trek dude is growing on me. His accent is good.
I genuinely felt like NOTHING happened tonight. It all seemed completely pointless.
Urgh, I still can't decide whether to watch it or not. It's like choosing to have a cold, or a minor disfigurement. I could really be doing something more productive.
Now here's the really important question, how come my BT Vision box happily let me watched that dross, then BBC4 stopped working the second I went to watch Charlie Brooker? Seriously, fuck you, BT, and your cloying, sexist adverts. Even better; I just rescanned my channels and BBC4 has now disappeared. Lovely.
It better be up on the Iplayer the SECOND it finishes. Not happy!

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here

You may have observed my blog has been a wee bit dead lately; it's cos I've been watching torrents of The Pick Up Artist and America's Next Top Model because nothing good has been on TV. And there's still nothing good on... so I'm watching this. As ever, it'll be 50/50 whether I get past the first episode.
So, the line-up. What comes after Z in the alphabet? When the star attraction is Robert Kilroy Silk (and he is for me, I couldn't give two fucks about Martina Navratilova, it's not like she's going to have it off in the jungle, and her sexuality is all people care about) you're in serious trouble. Will Kilroy do a Jim Davidson? I hope so. Who else? Mickey from Eastenders and his scouring pad hair. Someone I've never heard of's fiancee. The dull one out of Blue (quite a feat). A gay copper (since when were the filth celebrities?). A page 3 girl I've never heard of. Dani Behr, who I'd forgotten even existed, and I was quite happy with that (although she don't half look bad for her age). And finally, the third most famous person from Star Trek.
I can't tell you what happened for the middle 20 minutes, because my freeview box started doing an impression of a Spectrum having a spazz attack. It was very squarey, that I can tell you.
And we're back. Kilroy... 'there's gonna be problems with the women, they are quite opinionated.' and 'We're getting the wood, that's what guys do.' Uh-oh!
Joe Swash on gay people: 'it's not like you can't do things as good as a straight person.' Nice!
I can't be doing with all the bushtucker trials unless they are classics like Paul Burrell or Dean Gaffney. I want to see genuine fear. All in all, a pretty rubbish opening episode. But really, what did I expect?