Celebrity Big Brother 7: Slave to the vibe

Wow, Sov, your 'fanbase' sounds loud tonight. 'Get Sov out!' They must be keen to hear one of your delightful ditties.
Water bottle fun! Oh the Lord is playful today. Can we get rid of this fucking doofus yet, please?
Vinnie takes 'control freak' to scary fucking levels. Surely he can't still be favourite to win? He's so unreservedly unpleasant. I'd be sulking in Sov's place, I think.
Another good task today! The karaoke/ record player/ catfood task! They are pulling the props out this year! I have seen years where the tasks have been so useless; I feel like this bunch don't deserve such good tasks.
Has Sisqo seriously never heard 'living on a prayer' before? Hold on, why is Baldwin sitting on the side for this task? God moves in mysterious ways.
Bowers covered in custard! LOL. Sisqo knows NO SONGS whatsoever. Vinnie's not going to like all that food being wasted! He'll be scraping it up later and hoarding it from Sov.
I liked Sisqo saying 'that guy owes me money actually'. OMG how does Sisqo know this Another level song?! Dame Bowers! I knew you wouldn't let us down!
The puking/ retching was amusing. Sisqo is going to be in trubs!
Although Sov is extremely selfish; I blame her parents. I used to just wash up only my own stuff because I was a selfish little bitch too; sometimes you have to be shown how to be a caring, sharing sort of a person (normally it takes a functional relationship, as opposed to a dysfunctional family); and the way to do that is the lead by example and kindness, not by ostracising someone and telling them off. Steph called Sov 'a despicable non-entity!'. Not very classy. Remember this in future days, voters.
Oh god, Smoke-Gate: the return. They are ALL making my blood boil!
Oh Sov, you had some really good friends in that house in Sisqo and Basshunter. You should pin back your lugholes (tm. Jeremy Kyle) and listen to those boys.
Sov: 'i'm not cleaning a toilet'. Well, who do you expect to clean your shit up after you, you lazy fucking cunt? Everyone goes poo poo and pee pee! Why should someone else have to do it?
Slave to the vibe! Not just as good as Slave to the Wage by Placebo. Come on Dane, take this ho (!) down.
Baldwin and Vinnie are both duplicitous because they smarm up to her whilst stabbing her in the back in private. At least Dame told her to her face that she was rude and obnoxious. He didn't exactly 'destroy her' as promised, though. It was more of a mild maligning.
Eau de Kat! The malady lingers on.
Steph has clocked that Baldwin is 'game-planning' as the idiot contestants normally say. She's not wrong.
Baldwin sounded like he was on some nature documentary eyeing up the various talents of Alex.
The half-time talk was weird.
Stephanie's hair-piece reminds me of something a chav would buy from the 99p store and wear on the Jeremy Kyle show (second mention of the night). Oh Alex, please give it up with the 'morals of teenage society' bullshit. You're THIRTY FOUR.
Urgh Steph is so up herself! How do you think people survive who don't know how to make a meal? Very easily, they live on toast, crisps and chocolate, you stupid idiot. Have you never heard of the working classes?
Haha Dame vs Sov was tragic! I'm surprised no one pulled out 'my dad's bigger than your dad'. Vinnie sits peering at the manual! Enabler!
That's not a hamper, it's a shoe box. Jesus was soon forgotten in the scrum for the Daddies sauce. Aw, Alex had to pretend not to be more excited by mustard than the Bible.
OK so there's a key in the box; is anyone going to have a look for a keyhole? Anyone? Thought not.
Jonas is such an exhibitionist! He looked like a kid who forgot his PE kit in that outfit. I don't think I'd be that happy about him wandering around like that, but he's just looking for attention, so why give him it?!
Stephanie's face when Sov got evicted. This means NOTHING about how we feel about you, love.
Yay Sov heckled the crowd right back! That's exactly what I'd do. Sov, you came across like an utter cockspank in that interview. I didn't expect anything less. Your finest moment was sitting in a drawer. Well done.
At least I don't have to write the word 'Sov' anymore.
Speed noms! I'll do speed blogging of it.
Alex: anti-american- Sisqo! No love for the Dame! (Translation: he sees both as threats)
Dame: Ivana impression! Stevie B- STFU.
I like them adding up the noms as they go along. It helps me.
Ivana: Jonas naked hate (no hate for naked Alex). Stephen's getting a couple. Good!
Jonas: Revenge! Ivana in the loo! Disturbing Basshunter's poo-poo/ wank-fest. He doesn't like Sisqo either. Sisqo is ace!
Nicola: Stephen (thank fuck, can we get rid of him now!) Ivana: faffer!
All foreigners in the top three so far! Racist!
Sisqo: Ivana- bossy! Alex: bullying Stephen?! How about Vinnie bullying Alex?!!!
Stephanie: Stephen: camp! Ivana! OMG! I thought they were BFFs! Take that knife with you, I think Myleene Klass wants it back.
Stephen: Nicola T... that ship has sailed, Steve B. Dame Bowers. Nooooo. Not our Dame. Stephen's noms were the funniest.
Vinnie: please nominate yourself. Sisqo! Why all the hate for Sisqo? Threat! Threat! Threat! Alex. Aw, poor Alex.
All foreign eviction! Despite all my Steve B bashing, I'd like to see Ivana go as she's pointless. At least loony tunes gives us some good footage. Unfortunately, I think it will be our Lord and Saviour, Mr. Stephen Baldwin.

Celebrity Big Brother 7: That's hot, dog

Dane is going to be in the bad books with Jordan when he gets out! Isn't he meant to be her friend? It's a bit mean sitting there casting aspersions. Alex is a loveable prat. Vinnie is just a prat.
Sov is fucking with the egg allocation! Vinnie is slipping her an egg on the side! He'll make her pay for that later.
Why is Baldwin backing Sov's naughtiness up? The 'uneducated example of intelligence' sounds like a seriously backhanded compliment. I appreciate Dame standing up for what's right; no one backed him.
Vinnie is constantly influencing nominations! He gets away with murder.
It was interesting to hear Sov talk about her relationships at last. I don't think she's that comfortable discussing it.
Nominations. Perhaps Stephen just had an itchy bum when he was wiggling his bits at Nicola. Sov: 'Ivana treats me like a kid.' That's because you behave like one.
Aw, Sisqo is jealous that Ivana favours Alex over him! I liked his reason for nominating Nicola for mentioning her boyfriend to much.
Ivana nominated Joanne (!) for getting naked! But Alex did the same thing and she was all over it! That is out of order. You shouldn't be able to have a hypocrisy vote.
All this 'Sov is appealing to her audience' is total bullshit, she's just a little brat, she's not masterminding some anarchic plan. Alex's vote for Sisqo was a cop out, too.
What catalogues is Ivana buying her clothes from!? Littlewoods?
Vinnie's vote for Alex was such a cop out too; because he eats too much?! That's NOT why. Admit it. He also didn't nominate Sov! Interesting.
Was surprised Nicola was up, I don't think she's that bad. Baldwin's campaign against her has worked! Not much love for the women in that house at the moment.
I don't think Ivana would mind if Alex was changing his clothes 10 times a day. She's really got it in for Jonas. Stephanie going on about who's a 'real' celebrity is just another way for her to be a snob. I'm really getting tired of her attitude now. I wouldn't like to be a have-not in that house with her lording it over me.
Poor Stephen's wife; putting her trust in God and being stuck with that idiot. I could shoot his arguments down in about five seconds flat. He's been lucky with those housemates this year that they let him get away with so much, either through ignorance or apathy.
Vinnie acts like wants Sov to go constantly; and then went to Nicola 'I didn't think it would be you' after he voted for her. Sneaky.
Fag-gate! The others are enjoying it a little too much. I don't like Jonas's coat much.
'Jonas is sniffing Katia's pillow.' Nice.
Vinnie is such a stirrer, I can't STAND it! Will the LGBT community be backing Sov? Ooh, the lesbians hate the bi's! Dame Bowers knows! His word is final.
Liked Alex considering becoming Ivana's fancy piece.
Basshunter is being taken for a ride! Vinnie is watching that situation eagle-eyed. Stephanie's right, he is a sucker.
So who will leave? Sov will go, right, because she's annoyed more people? Surely the mythical 'fanbase' doesn't really exist?
Considering it was nominations, that episode was pretty dull. So they are to blame for the fact there's not one single joke in my blog. Sorry.

Celebrity Big Brother 7: I'd have been upset giving them titties up too

Watched a bunch of Sov prattling on the live feed last night and basically saw her dig her own grave. Just because you survived one eviction, doesn't mean you have a 'fan-base'. It doesn't even have to mean you're liked. She also turned up her chavometer to eleven, and just came across like the kind of idiot you'd cross the street to avoid, not through any sort of fear, but just heartfelt embarrassment.
Anyway, on with the show. It's the Steph and Vinnie hour again! God, Steph is is so vile in the way she speaks about people: 'Sov is not the quality of human being I want to speak to'- did she not pass the etiquette test? Such snobbery! Just say you don't like her, don't denounce her like that. LOL to Vinnie tripping over the couch. Silly bugger.
Kat's last ditch snuggle was rather sad. I'm sorry to see her go, because I like romance in the house, even if it's fauxmance. I'm a sucker.
Vinnie's kitchen tyranny is getting excessive. 'Standards have dropped'! Cop yourself on, man. You're in a game show, not the army.
I wish I could sleep through anything like Heidi! I definitely couldn't sleep through that alarm.
Nicola: 'is it back on?' Oh god, she's so unsubtle. She's a disaster if you're trying to engage in some subterfuge in there.
Dane reminiscing on his Another Level days! You weren't that good. Didn't you do 'let me lick you up and down til you say stop'? STOP!
Why does Sov even have to ask if she can eat an egg? Who put Vinnie in charge? Watching the way he and Steph are going on makes me ALMOST glad Sov stayed just to wind them up.
Do we have to look so closely at Sov's boobs? They aint all that. She's NOT sexy. Mind you, nor is Nicola T. There's very little eye candy for either sex in that house this year. And it's a very white, old, straight house. Where's the trannies? Even the cross-dressers are being forced to pray! It's bullshit.
Fuck me, are we still going on about that corned beef? Sov is a spoilt little dick. She's just a useless human being, it's tiring. Who saved her? The trouble is, I hate the opposing side, too!
Oh I'm so relieved that Vinnie is back in his rightful place in the kitchen! We can all sleep tonight!
Yeah you are a little div, Nicola, but you don't need to be subservient to Vinnie just because he's a bit of a bully, or has a dick. You're a valid human being too, if only you knew it.
Interesting hearing Ivana talk about her marriage. It's quite a 'grown-up' Big Brother this year, isn't it? I guess they worked out the audience is all about 30 now.
Vinnie, stop being a food monitor. What IS Steph's problem with Sov? Not ONE redeeming quality? Come on! I don't like her, but that's a bit strong. She's not a nasty person, she's just immature. Again, getting gladder Sov stayed just to wind her up!
Bye Kat. I'll miss your little hair flower. Wow, they started slating her the second she left (especially Vinnie). Real nice. Poor Jonas. She didn't sleep in the bed with him, she just gave him a cud in the morning. Oh Vinnie, just shut the fuck up! You're a cunt! Can't they all just show some sensitivity? Ha, I like Sisqo, he's funny.
Heidi: 'I'm gonna win this thing.' Cut to her walking out the door.
I don't blame Sov for celebrating when she stayed in. I think anyone would have. She did do well to see of Heidi, who was a strong character. I think general convention is you all congratulate the person on staying. No such luck here!
Steph and Vinnie were just staring daggers at her. What gay card is coming out? DOES it have a rainbow on it? What 'peoples' are supporting Sov, the underage-lesbian chav society? It's hard to feel sympathy for either side. It's just like a wanker-flavoured sandwich. Sov shouldn't be such a tool, and they should be a bit more grown up. Problem solved.
Oh God, not more Basshunter songs. Come on Ivana, rave it up in your big furry coat. Her dancing ruled! I like Ivana, she has a bit of fun. Oh god, that thong-thong-thong-thong!
Jonas makes me cringe. His heart isn't so much on his sleeve as splattered all over his face.
No, Stephanie, the audience don't like antagonism. And (hopefully) that's why Vinnie won't win it. Anyone to win over him. Even Baldwin!
Vinnie is stirring up hate against Sov! And trying to influence nominations. Put him up! He looks like a fucking market trader in that hat, which let's be honest, is what he should be. He's just one lucky talentless bastard.
Basshunter and Sov missing Kat already! Funny. Oh God, Jonas, get a grip, you're really making a twat of yourself. You deserve a lot better! More falling over! Hehe.
Oh, here's a bit of what I saw last night with Sov drunkenly talking about herself for an hour or two. I swear, Sisqo was trying to help her and she just wasn't listening.
If I was the battle, baby you have won the war- it's the wisdom of Courtney. Ha, they cut out the bit after Sisqo said 'david and goliath' and Sov went 'that's where I bought my pajama bottoms from'. I have the same pajama bottoms as her but I don't want to wear them right now, she's put me right off 'em. Bad advertisement!
What did we learn tonight? Not much we didn't already know.