Why is Britain's Got Talent so popular? It's useless! Ant and Dec are way past their sell by day, modelling the looks of Hitler and and an advert for hair restoration respectively. Angela Holden is insipid, cloying, dull. Piers Morgan is pompous, grating, dull. Even Simon looks like he's just faxing himself in. It's probably a lookalike up there.
And this is before we get to the 'contestants', an assortment of the mentally ill, people with sob stories, a small smattering of aminal cruelty, and the occasional cutesy person we're meant to care about because they can hold a note. It is actually almost unbearable to watch.
It's like being stuck in a lift with someone showing you a tedious party trick over and over for an hour, whilst you bash at the doors, begging for escape.
The human money box dude was mildly diverting but it was obviously just flim flam. We could get Piers to swallow a billiard ball, it might stop all the utter bilge coming out of his mouth.
I liked the dog in the pink headband playing the guitar. I think that dog is going home via the RSPCA kennels (or a deep river).
I hope Ant and Dec had to clean up that horse poo poo. What else? Gymnasts. Nervous opera guy. A baying mob. The viewing figures for this show tell a frightening story about the intelligence level in this country. Yes, I am calling you an idiot if you sit and enjoy this show. It's like sitting in McDonalds and enjoying watching a pair of grubby children squabbling over a happy meal toy. Cheap entertainment.
Showing posts with label Britain's Got Talent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Britain's Got Talent. Show all posts
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Saturday, 16 June 2007
In the Audience: Britain's Got Talent
We went to see the live showing of Britain's Got talent last night- basically I applied for a bunch of tickets for things on Applause Store and got tickets to this, the T4 Wireless Festival show and the good old Album Chart Show. Unfortnately we didn't make it to the Wireless thing because my throat hurt too much today.
But anyway. I have been watching this show a bit and have found it pretty awful for the most part; I hate ventriloquists (I can't even say the word), magicians (except Derren, of course- I'm reading his hilarious book at the moment, he's a genius) and especially little kids. Here you have little kids dancing, telling jokes, and generally being precocious. Not good. But I wanted to see what Simon Cowell looked like in the flesh.
It was filmed in Wembley right near where I used to work (and the setting for my novel actually) so it felt a bit weird to be back there. We queued for about an hour and a half, but we could sit down so it wasn't too bad. The queue was FULL of chavs, it looked like a night down Cinderellas, with the men all preened in their ridiculous cardigans and gelled hair and the girls with streaky highlights and stuffed into leggings (oh shit, that was me actually).
It looked like we might not get in but in the end we did, and got seats RIGHT BEHIND the judges, about three rows back. Not good for me, as I have no desire to be on TV. luckily they filmed it from the sides so you couldn't see us. We were sat right by Simon's brother and girlfriend (very skinny).
It was funny seeing Simon Cowell in the flesh, but he seemed just the same as usual, and was smoking in the breaks. Amanda whatsherface (I've genuinely forgotten) had a nice dress on, and as we could only see the back of her head I wasn't too offended by her ridiculously over-botoxed forehead. Piers Morgan didn't say much. Ant and Dec were just as expected, quite little. There was a comedian 'fluffer' guy on in between who was quite outrageous and was getting the crowd to diss the judges, which was amusing.
The actual show is a lot better when you are actually there. I like the kind of acrobatic stuff that I can't do, and the kid dancers were actually dead cute. I hated the little kid comedian. Brat. The baton twirler guy should definitely have gone through, Simon completely misread the crowd. Boooo!
All in all, a good night out, and I enjoy seeing behind the scenes and how these things work. As it was a live show there wasn't a lot of waiting around either. I hate variety entertainment still, but the acts are on for such a short time it's bearable. The sausage and chips on the way home were marvellous, too.
But anyway. I have been watching this show a bit and have found it pretty awful for the most part; I hate ventriloquists (I can't even say the word), magicians (except Derren, of course- I'm reading his hilarious book at the moment, he's a genius) and especially little kids. Here you have little kids dancing, telling jokes, and generally being precocious. Not good. But I wanted to see what Simon Cowell looked like in the flesh.
It was filmed in Wembley right near where I used to work (and the setting for my novel actually) so it felt a bit weird to be back there. We queued for about an hour and a half, but we could sit down so it wasn't too bad. The queue was FULL of chavs, it looked like a night down Cinderellas, with the men all preened in their ridiculous cardigans and gelled hair and the girls with streaky highlights and stuffed into leggings (oh shit, that was me actually).
It looked like we might not get in but in the end we did, and got seats RIGHT BEHIND the judges, about three rows back. Not good for me, as I have no desire to be on TV. luckily they filmed it from the sides so you couldn't see us. We were sat right by Simon's brother and girlfriend (very skinny).
It was funny seeing Simon Cowell in the flesh, but he seemed just the same as usual, and was smoking in the breaks. Amanda whatsherface (I've genuinely forgotten) had a nice dress on, and as we could only see the back of her head I wasn't too offended by her ridiculously over-botoxed forehead. Piers Morgan didn't say much. Ant and Dec were just as expected, quite little. There was a comedian 'fluffer' guy on in between who was quite outrageous and was getting the crowd to diss the judges, which was amusing.
The actual show is a lot better when you are actually there. I like the kind of acrobatic stuff that I can't do, and the kid dancers were actually dead cute. I hated the little kid comedian. Brat. The baton twirler guy should definitely have gone through, Simon completely misread the crowd. Boooo!
All in all, a good night out, and I enjoy seeing behind the scenes and how these things work. As it was a live show there wasn't a lot of waiting around either. I hate variety entertainment still, but the acts are on for such a short time it's bearable. The sausage and chips on the way home were marvellous, too.
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