Monday, 15 August 2016

Celebrity Big Brother UK 2016: Gameplan first, money second

Jam doughnuts
School task! It's just an opportunity to put Bear in a dunce hat, isn't it? Will he wear it better than Dappy? 'What you gonna tell your daughter?' etc. I bet Bear doesn't have any A levels like Dappy.  Or was it just GCSEs? I forget.
Fatboy has been perfectly cast as head boy, cos he's already like the school monitor/ swot. Aubrey is HBIC: head bitch in charge. Or head bimbo in charge if you're sexist (which I'm not).
I can imagine this is JUST what Bear was like at school. A fucking nightmare. He's ruining the task, ha. Why put in a task which encourages bullying/ behaving like brats. Well, I know why, but. Don't be surprised when it all kicks off!
Sam Fox used to charge 10p for kisses. Prostitute! Was selling her body from a young age (I'm just kidding, for those with a sensitive disposition).
What has Bear got against coffee?! He's a chronic coffee spiller. I fucking hate coffee, so I don't care. He should destroy someone's cigarettes, then we'll really see how much self-restraint people have. Fatboy is LOVING being in charge.
Bear has less respect for tasks than Gemma Collins. I still hate the GC more, though. I'm still surprised no one has strangled him yet.
I like Bear mis-remembering the rules in the DR (sorry, headmaster's office). How do you handle him?! I have no idea. Big Brother clearly doesn't, either.
Lewis would 'fight a shark' for Marnie. Can we book the aquarium now, cos I'm sure we'd shift some tickets, it'd be a bigger seller than his TOWIE boxing match mess (I only even know about that cos someone sent me the clip). He's an 'adrenaline junkie' or a coke head, as Bear would call it.
James is apologising to Aubrey for nominating her. Who cares? 'Mrs W' as he calls his wife, sounds like something out of a sitcom. She probably doesn't even exist.
Life drawing class! How long before Bear assaults one of the models? I actually quite like his art. Not so much is petty intimidation tactics, though. I was on board with him a couple of days ago, he's grinding my gears a bit today. 
Fatboy said Bear has been using his 'third eye'. Excuse me?
I like the little school hall set up they've got going on. I love them trying to to make Heavy D say boom by playing songs with that word in. Great idea! Did you see Lewis's dancing, by the way? He looked like an estate agent 'throwing shapes' at the Christmas party. And Frankie Grande enjoying himself in the mirror? God, why did I bet money on him to win?
The yearbook bit was a bit cringe. Katie most likely to make people laugh? Have I missed something? Most likely to shout at people in an American accent then run off for a cry, more like.
Lewis: 'I would never do a spin off show.' What else have you got going on?! You're no Josie and John James, are you? You don't even have any decks. 'Love first, money second.' Why is he saying this shit? It's like when John James got so annoyed about magazine deals and then did one. Lewis is FAKE ASS. At least Bear is as advertised; a ginormous prick. Lewis is a cunt in prick's clothing.
Renee's romantic tales of dating a gangster. Should Lewis and Marnie marry after 18 days? Only if their agent tells them to. It's not even Big Brother brain. At least that's a real condition. They've just got famewhore-itis.
Lewis showing off his elephant cock and balls. His balls are marginally more attractive than his dancing.
Bear is destroying the year book 'because he wants to.' He's also talking like a baby. Fatboy is FUMING. Katie: 'Bear is writing his opinions in jam.' Probably one of the best lines of the series. Second time this series jam has had a starring role in a storyline. Jam is BIGGER player in the house than Katie. Jam is an airtime whore.
Lewis and Marnie pretending they care about the jam/yearbook in the diary room. They don't give a fuck, they've got their eye on the endgame! Lewis: 'He's not my best friend in the house, Marnie is.' Grow up. I've never seen a scrotum journeying before. Yet here it is, right before my very eyes.

4 comments:

n.k. said...

Told ya!...Just sayin!!

Arif Ramzan said...

Saying sorry for the past things done in the house wasn't real as they had to as part of the task.
When does this series end ? I got the task but didn't know why hey passed as they didn't exactly obey the rules set , so how was that a pass ? Any excuse for another party . They must have had loads . It's what they are used to on the outside real world .

bella33774 said...

LOVE that you hate coffee. (I believe I'm the only American in the US that HATES the vile shit.)

bella33774 said...
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