Celebrity Big Brother 2015: Did you miss me?

Why, hello there! Thanks to everyone who's been keeping updated via the obnoxious podcast, and for those who can't stand James, there's this blog, tee hee.
I feel like Big Brother is going to be over before I even get the chance to get my teeth into it, somehow, even though it's a longer series than normal. It has been a great celebrity series, I can't deny it.
So, the old secret room trick, and this time, mildly more plausible than usual, as this series has had more walkers than Rick Grimes encounters on your average sepia-toned afternoon walk. I liked the touch of Perez leaving via the John James exit, but mostly I just like Perez. I was just listening to a podcast where they don't like Perez (RHAP). Can you imagine not liking Perez? I would not be watching Big Brother at this point. Because it IS the Perez show, Perez IS Big Brother, and he's playing the game now, he's playing it sooooo good. From licking his own armpits, to stripping naked, to driving everyone slowly insane, he's where it's at. To argue with it is futile. To argue with it is to be Calum Best.
I'm hoping Cami Li goes but there's no way in hell I'm voting to save Hopkins, Patsy or Nadia. The middle aged mafia can fight it out between themselves. I've got a sneaking feeling Patsy might go.
Is 'chola' racist? The first time I heard it I thought so, but a few seem to be saying it. Let me know!
Cami Li hasn't got the balls to take Jordan on. She knows Jordan is higher up the power rankings in that house. Pecking order is everything. Just ask the trainer police.
Perez is writing viewer questions. The only positive thing I can say about Nadia is she stuck by Perez even after he 'went'. I will give her that as loyalty is a good quality. Other than that, she's a meddling pain in the butt. Talking of which, Visage is invisible this episode, which is wonderful. I can't believe how many people still like her; her game plan is so transparent. She's worse than Cheggers.
Katie Hopkins calling Perez a 'parasite' in the DR; she really has no clue he's gone. I like him clutching her picture in a frame to his crotch.
Even thought he's meant to be gone, the housemates are still talking about Perez non-stop.  Says it all.
Patsy will miss Big Brother like a hole in the head. 'Unique experience'?! Weren't she and Nadia comparing it to a prison sentence yesterday?
Calum and Cami Li's nomance is depressing. Even Ricci and Lauren had more chemistry, LOL! Even Ollie Locke and Sam Faiers' boil were more compatible. It's tragic.
Perez works well with his own company. I doubt if I'd be so animated on my own. I know Perez is fake and annoying, but he's just got something compelling about him. He's one of the best American players we've ever had (Busey and Spiedi just pip him) and one of the most entertaining housemates ever, in my opinion. I can imagine if you hate him, you really fucking hate him. And that makes me like him all the more! I'm surprised how many people don't get it. But the crowd has never been more split that this year, everyone is hating on everyone else's favourites. And I like that.
Crowd is chanting 'get Cami out' yet cheering for Katie Hopkins. Why? Idiot general public, that's why! Loonies in anoraks, y'all.I'm actually glad Nadia is safe for when Perez comes back, even though she gets on my last nerve. Hopkins also safe. Probably in her contract. Fuck, Patsy is out. I called it! She looks fucking thrilled to be going. Elated. I'm not sad she's gone as she offered nothing. She was the female Frankie Dettori.
Patsy seems more relaxed already. Emma: 'There's a time and a place for an opinion, and you don't have to say every opinion you have.' Only someone with no opinion would say such a thing. I have an opinion on EVERYTHING. Emma doesn't struggle to have an opinion when faced with a female housemate she feels hasn't lived up to her exacting standards, though.
Someone on Twitter is telling me Perez was bullying Katie Hopkins. How can people see things so differently? Katie Hopkins is a professional bully. Perez is an eccentric.
Patsy: 'I'm not going back in, am I?' and 'I don't want to see my best bits.' Ha. Patsy's like your mum when you try and take a picture of her. There's no harm in her, bless!
It's such a crap way of them showing that Perez is still there, letting them see it on screen. There's so many better ways of letting him back in! Like he could have gone back in dressed as a giant Mr Buns. Or as Reg Holdsworth. A VT is all they got? 'I knew it!' etc. Hopkins looks rattled.
Perez: 'Did you miss me?' LOL. 'Cheers motherfuckers.'
Glad Cami stayed now as she looks super pissy. Haha to the pass to the final/ eternal nomination reveal. Eternal nomination! Boo! Typical idiot general public, don't know what they're doing. They literally don't know their arse from their elbow. Luckily Perez will be safe anyway on a vote to save and the others will have to turn on each other when nominating.
Perez holding court at the end, ha. He does love all eyes on him. Why is he slating Patsy! Hopkins, Cami Li and Visage all look stony faced. Jordan pumping him for information. He's lording it! He's in his element. Let's eternally damn the loonies in anoraks. How many more evictions are there even?! Save Perez.You know it makes no sense... but perfect television.