My boyfriend and I have got a new obsession, which will probably go the same way as our Placebo obsession (ie. quietly filed away but still loved, just less passionately) but at the moment, it’s riding high.
Richplanet.tv is a show on Showcase (channel 201, Sky TV people, and I think you can get it on Freesat, too). Showcase itself is an eye-opener, with cheapo adverts for strange conspiracy theory books, and sites like www.aircrap.com. Now who wouldn’t want to look at a site called that?
To say Richplanet.tv is low budget would be an understatement; I think it’s actually filmed in Richard D Hall’s living room. He sits in front of a green screen, clumsily reading from his notes (I don’t think he’s got an autocue in his bedroom) and with a cheap black plastic sofa for his guests, who are super-imposed badly on a background showing the Earth behind them. I heard if you smoke DMT aliens show you the control panel to the universe; this is like that, except not so much.
Richard himself has a mid-90s footballer haircut, and one brown shirt. I think he’s Welsh, my boyfriend thinks he’s Geordie, but he films the show in Milton Keynes, so who knows. There seems to be no Wikepedia page about him, and even his own website, Richplanet.net doesn’t seem to have an ‘about me’ section, unless I just can’t find it amongst all the gubbins. We’ve only been watching him about two months, so if you know more about him, let me know, as I want to know EVERYTHING.
His ‘guests’ are brilliant, clearly just his friends, who turn up and sit on the couch in their jogging bottoms and their Metallica t-shirts (I’m serious). The ‘mind control’ expert looked like a 14-year-old boy, although I did like him suggesting Paul McCartney had been killed in a road accident and replaced with ‘Fall McCartney’ in the late seventies. When Richard said the others could be ‘Fingo Starr, Fon Lennon and Forge Harrison’, even he was laughing. Forge Harrison does work particularly well. On the same show they discussed a half-robotic cat that had been implanted with a chip so it could spy on conversations but sadly got run over by a taxi. ‘All that money wasted,’ Richard opined.
My favourite moment ever was when Richard read out a letter from a guy refusing to pay his council tax because ‘the council funds terrorism’ and Richard deadpanned, ‘Good luck with that.’ I really want an update on that story and how it’s going. He also did a highly scientific survey where he went into a pub and asked 5 men if they thought there were UFOs in a nearby field, and three out of the five agreed.
At the end of his show, he says, 'Don't forget to believe only half of what you see and none of what you read.' Or something like that, I forget. But does he include his own show in that?
This blog so far might read like I’m taking the piss, but I truly enjoy this show, and I believe at least 50% of it. I do believe in UFOs, the New World Order, and that 9/11 was an inside job (I just watched Loose Change). I don’t think conspiracy theories should be dismissed because they’re ‘crackpot’. If you are dismissing them out of hand without even considering them, then you really are exactly where they want you. In the cage of your own construction!
I think my only problem is that I’m not convinced Richard believes everything he says. With David Icke you know he REALLY means it, because he will tell you for eight hours in a repetitive and shouty fashion whilst pacing up and down angrily and pronouncing human with a 'y'. But with Richard, I do feel like he’s taking the mick sometimes too. This is why I’d like to know more about him. I’d also like to know if he believes in the lizards.
Anyway, my boyfriend just bought me tickets to go to Richard’s tour date in London (KT17, really?) around my birthday and I think Richard should meet me for an interview so I can do a blog about him and he can convince me he’s 4 real (Richey Edwards ™). Come on, I don’t even want to sit on that black settee, we can just do it in your dressing room. The tour is called 'The truth hurts' so I'm sure he won't mind this blog, as it's only tongue-in-cheek, and I like him. I also can’t wait to see who else is going to the show, and what the show is about. It’s going to be a good, good night!
PS: I really want this T-shirt.
PPS: I really need to practice resting my hand quizzically on my chin.