Apologies for my lack of bloggage but there's bugger all on TV worth shouting about and everything I am watching is either on DVD or about ten years old. I will blog about those things anyway, but not yet.
And I'm blogging this three weeks too late. Silly, aren't I? Still, I'm doing my best! I meant to watch this but Thursday is pretty much the only night I leave the house, so forgive me.
This show sees a bunch of people competing to win a cottage in a village full of bigots (is the one in Midsummer Murders?)
I want to win that cottage, people can call me whatever they like, I'll just put barbed wire round the fence and set the dogs on them once I move in.
The first couple are - lesbians. I know, shocking stuff! OMG they've got a baby. How DID that happen? No doubt some rude cunt will ask them shortly.
'POLITICALLY CORRECT'! Check. I think you get desensitised living in London to just how pig ignorant people actually are.
Second 'contestant' is a topless model. Well, they'll probably prefer her to the lesbians.
I went to look at a village to live in at the weekend. I'm not sure I'm cut out for people being friendly in shops and nodding to you in the street. I prefer chicken bones and human bloodstains lining the pavements.
Someone was literally open-mouthed at the sight of the lesbians. It's like the Daily Mail has come to life. Now there's a thought.
Apparently you DON'T need a man and woman to make a kid, you toxic old bat. Stop saying 'a lot of people will think this...' when spouting your own hateful views. Oh, and mind your own fucking business an' all.
OMG those cunts in the forest begrudging them their IVF. WANKERS. The NHS! Fuck off, the NHS is there for everyone. Why are you against two people who love each other bringing a child they love into the world? WHY WHY WHY? OMG the old 'the child will get bullied' scenario. Why not RAISE YOUR CHILDREN NO TO TO BE HATEFUL LITTLE TOSSERS???? How about that, ignoramus features? Too difficult for you? Go read a book, you fucking prick.
'A lot of people I know...' Just say ME! I HATE GAYS! I HATE BLACK PEOPLE! Just fucking admit it! It's all over your crowy, sour faces.
How can that gay couple be so patient with people being like that to them? I'd stab them in the face. I'd raze their village to the ground, cackling.
The topless model has got no chance, because she's a bit brassy and they're too snooty. Wow, I haven't heard anyone use the word 'trollop' in about 15 years.
When that blonde woman had upset the 'life model' and made her swear, she enjoyed repeating the word 'fucking' a little too much for my liking.
LOL even after the model stomped off in a huff, only 77% voted for the lesbians to stay. Says a lot.
I shant be watching anymore of this. There's enough hate stored up in my heart to do me an injury. I need to go do yoga or summat.
PS. Stay tuned to me. I missed you a bit.