Mark Dolan is back! Can I do my poor man's Louis Theroux shtick again? Probably not. OK, he's the female Dawn Porter. I kind of like him and don't like him, it's weird.
First he went to see 'the American Barbie doll' who was clearly just fame hungry. Despite her being late, Mark kissed her (plastic) arse hard when she finally showed after six hours. Needless to say, she looked revolting. Then her nostril collapsed whilst filming. Yum! Turns out she had body dysmorphia; no shit.
OMG she looked like an alien when she was getting injected! And she sounded like she was having an orgasm. Extra creepy.
The next woman he went to see had been crafted by two successive plastic surgeon husbands. The second husband delighted in showing Mark porn mags with his wife in. Charming. Oh, and he sewed her hymen up to make her a 'virgin' again! This is taking objectification to a new low. She said she was 'his property' quite proudly.
Then there was some superfluous stuff about her 'singing' talent, and she mimed a song in some awful club that looked like something out of Borat. Next!
Next he met someone with some serious body-modification called Stalking Cat. He was so deformed he could barely speak. OMG he even had little tiny teeth like a cat! Nutso. For some reason had breast implants, too. Mark failed to ask him why. Good journalism!
This person was clearly seriously mentally ill. How did he find someone to do that to him?! Where? Mark asked none of these questions, and the show ended abruptly. What would Louis say?