Monday, 25 February 2008

Corrie/ Enders- Kill Me Now

God I feel depressed today. And I'm not exactly uplifted by the Corrie/ Eastenders sandwich of meloncholy.
I'm sick of Sean, Violet, Jamie, Carla, her bug-eyed boyfriend, her flat that looks like a brothel. I'm sick of Liam being so damn friendly all the time. I'm sick of Michelle's other son, the weaselly one with the comedy sideburns (I'm not sick of Ryan, of course, he's a hottie).
Enders: I'm sick of Ian, Stephen, Stacey. I'm MURDEROUS about Clare. Her sleazy patter makes me want to hurl. I wouldn't shag Ian Beale for a zillion squid. Harpie. My mate told me she played the exact same character in Hollyoaks. So now Hollyoaks is infiltrating Enders. It's wrong. Hollyoaks should keep it's robotic bimbos and bimboys to itself. Otherwise Eastenders will send Hollyoaks Phil Mitchell and they won't like that, no sir.
The characterisation in Eastenders is poor beyond words. Just look at the minor characters, the chav mum and the homeless girl for example. The homeless girl had neater hair than me. The chav mum was a confused almost-goth.
I guess I have to conclude Eastenders has gone shit again. It kinda sucks.
And back to Corrie again. Violet and Jamie feel about Sean the same way I feel about the rest of the human race. Just get out of my face! Run, run little piggies, run. I got deja vu because Liam had the exact same conversation with Ryan as in the earlier show.
'If you want peace come round.'
'If you want to escape the madness come round.'
'If you want a smug, patronising smarm fest with Maria and that stupid black dog, come on round, Ryan, and we'll pretend to play video games.'
David did NOT snog Tracey, or go out with Maria. Don't believe David's oranged-faced lies. The thought of him shagging in any capacity is just unforgivable before the 9pm watershed.
Finally, what the fuck have they done to the Rovers?! They've given it a gothic makeover. They must have got Carla's decorators in. Urgh.

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