Friday, 1 June 2007

Big Brother 8: David Fuck 'em

This charming man...
An interesting choice of male, I think. Hunky, looks quite nice in a suit, but still ugly. A bit Beckham-esque but still appears to have half a working brain. A lack of lips but seems a gent. If I was in there I'd avoid him like the plague. It's the only way to retain a bit of integrity.
But 26?!!! He's 26 going on 40. He's either had a lot of sunbeds or he's been on the old happy pills like Tracey. For fuck's sake Tracey, put a bit of slap on. You look like this little rubbery gurning man toy I used to have.
So. Making them pack their bags was a bit cruel. They should have booted someone, it would have been a laugh making him choose. DEFFO! Love it.
As for the earlier show, well Chantel, what a fucking dipstick you have proved to be. I want to get in VIP areas. WHY? Do you want to catch syphillis off Calum Best? You stupid fucker. Is there anything more BORING than money. Yes. Fame. I couldn't think of ANYTHING worse than people recognising me in the street. I'd become a recluse in five seconds. So fame hungry, money-grabbing thick bitches. I'm talking to YOU Charley and Chantel: 'I'd like to have a small job like writing a column.' Writing a column is not a SMALL JOB! You need balls to have opinions. Otherwise you're just Michelle fucking Heaton. Oh, right, you mean a column about FASHUN. Knock yourself out. But. But. It's not really a career if you get it through your sporty spouse. It's not a CAREER if you get it through lying on your back turning a blind eye. Colleen Mcloughin sold her soul to a bunch of octegenarian hookers. It would take more than a fancy handbag to get the image of Rooney being sucked off by a grandma with her teeth out from off my mind. How DOES she sleep at night?
But. You pay your money, you take your choice.
And if you do you're a stupid slag.
How can people not want to earn their OWN money? Charley, I don't think you have a leg to stand on dissing Chantel for being superficial. But I can call the pair of you out and say go fuck yourselves. It's not impressive to be proud of knowing nothing about politics and current affairs. It's embarrassing. You're setting women back fifty years. Just look at Billie. Not taking a PENNY off Chris Evans. And she had to see him naked!!! She's a lesson to you all.
What else? Charley is disappointing- proving herself to be exactly as promised. A spoilt twat. No wonder you hate Chantel, it's like looking in a fucking mirror. Albeit one that drags your hairline up five inches and makes you look like Ant, of Ant and Dec fame. Chantel: get a fringe. Girls aren't meant to have receeding hairlines. You've got a six-head, love.
Peeing in the shower: for fucks sake it's like Hit-n-Run Alex all over again. PEEING IN THE SHOWER IS FINE. It is a SHOWER. It is there TO WASH AWAY DIRTY STUFF. That's the whole fucking point of it. I don't pee in the shower myself. But I do pee in the bath. Hahahaha! Just kidding.
So who will ZIGGY (not his real name, I'll venture) vote out? Leslie and Carole? Too obvious? I dunno. I've watched about three seconds of the live feed and I think he fancies Emily. I know stuff. Truth!


Red said...

That Ziggy guy reminds me of Jonathan Morris, who was in Bread and then in The Games a few years ago. Not a look I particularly go for, but then I don't really like blonds. And I'm telling you: that dude ain't 26! We have an expression in Italy that goes, "Yes, 26 years... per leg", meaning at least twice that age.

Best line of the evening: when Laura told him her name was Elvis. Haha, bless her heart.

lightupvirginmary said...

He does look like the bread bloke!
26 per leg is right. He's withered!
Hmm, who WILL he nominate?

* (asterisk) said...

I said to the missus, What is with this don't-piss-in-the-shower thing? I'm not saying I do it all the time, y'know. I don't save up all my piss for the shower or anything. But it gets watched away, exactly. No other cunt is going to come and stand in your piss, people! Jesus wept, they're obsessed. If that bloke's 26, I'm still 19, I tell ya.