X Factor: the results (MKdone)

I'm a bit tired and grumpy today because I got up early again to see my boyfriend. I'm not drunk, but I do have hiccups. Luckily, you can't hear those.
I see Jade's still got her purple rinse - groo. Change it, change it! Jahmene is dressed like the office accountant. I don't like this song they're singing. I hate it when they all sing together, it's so cheesy.
Talking of cheese, I hope Christopher Maloney leaves the building tonight.
LOL to Kye saying Chris Martin is one of his biggest idols. They just put you in front of a keyboard, don't sign up to Goop and get a rainbow jacket just yet.
Just a side note as this show is so dull, I have been watching X Factor US and it's better than the UK one in some ways and not in others. I like the judges; Britney's every emotion shows on her haunted face, LA Reid jiggles about like the Churchill nodding dog, and Demi Lovato is sweet, but not annoying. The thing I don't like about it is the categories; they've got this teen category, which is really bugging because they're all children, basically, and no one wants to hear children sing. They also put through 16 to the live shows, as opposed to cutting half, which took a lot of tension out of judges houses. The Voice US is still the best, and enjoy it whilst you can because the two best judges, Cee Lo and Xtina, are leaving this season.
I thought Labyrinth (I know he spells it wrong, but I can't remember how) was more in the Tinchy Stryder vein, obviously not. This is turgid. It looks like his mum's come on to help him sing it.
JLS: 'how does it feel to be the hottest girl in the world right now?' Well it would be better if you were singing one of your songs with a tune. Is this their challenge to 'you don't know you're beautiful?' I don't want One Direction or JLS calling me beautiful. They're all grotesque (except Zain) so their opinion aint worth dick.
Here's the results! One boyband is through. Whoop, Rylan is through! That beef with Gary is keeping him in. OMG Christopher is through. I was sure he was a goner.
Shit, I hope Jade doesn't go. I wouldn't want to see Kye go before Christopher, either. I don't want MK1 to go either. Jade is through! The bottom two are Kye and MK1. I like both of them.
Aw, MK1 look sad. I really hope they go through. She looks like she's shaking.
Gary going on about Kye's flu again, STFU. Kye is doing a dated, rubbishy old song. Cut him. He sounds a bit flat to me. MK1 are the best of the groups. That really sucks that they went home. What a shame. The show will be poorer without them. I do know one person who'll be happy; that dude they auditioned with.

X Factor: the results (Afghan drowned)

Gary Barlow can't even do a smile when he comes out on stage, the miserable oik. Perhaps it's because he's had his jaw wired or something? It's probably those spiteful fat-free meals he eats that leave a bad taste in his mouth.
I don't know what this song is they're all singing, but either it sounds tuneless or they do.
I think Nicole enjoys this show more than the viewers do. She's got her 'leery old aunt' chip in. So tonight I'd be happy to see the back of Christopher Maloney, District3 or the afghan hound as they're outdated and get on my wick. I hope Tiger Lily wasn't watching the afghan murder one of her dad's best songs. She's suffered enough having to live with Bob Geldof and Peaches.
I hope Lucy goes through, I hope MK1 goes though, and Rylan. James and Ella are a given. I hope Kye goes through as I thought he did good last night and he got a hard time.
Rebecca Ferguson. The most boring popstar since Leona Lewis. She's got a lovely voice, but she's just not my bag at all. What's with the fright-wig? She's beautiful, but they've done her up like a sub-par Lady Gaga. She looks better dressed classically and singing a soul number.
Chicken wings... what the fuck? Has someone checked Nicole's medication? She could be about to go postal like Robocop.
Every time I see Taylor Swift I just think, when will she have her teeth fixed? She must have the money. Another pop drip.
Yay, Rylan isn't in the bottom two! Fuck you, Barlow. I'm really glad Kye got through.This is the perfect result.
So it's District3 vs the afghan. Why is Louis giving them Bryan Adams to sing? All they've ever done is old fashioned, cheesy songs. They are so duff but I'd still rather save them over that screechy old crow. Let's see if she can get through one song without screeching. Urgh, she's shouting again. Get off my screen and back home to the bairns.
Yes, Tulisa has opted to send Melanie home! What is it with Dermot, he's being very strict this year. He's doing a Steve Jones.
Deadlock! I think Melanie will go, who on earth would vote for her? Is Gary going to stomp off again? LOL Gary's lost two of his acts in two weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd lost the lot in a fortnight's time. I have no clue why he ever put her through in the first place. Her voice was like nails down a blackboard. She seemed to take losing well. Gary is so out of touch with what's popular. He's like Louis; fumbling round for his faculties, and then just seeing Rylan's face looming up at him in the dark. Sweet dreams!