Celebrity Big Brother 7: Animal Farm

I'm back in my nest! Woo. I think the celebrity going in is Davina, I heard it on the grapevine.
Who's thicker out of Alex or Nicola?! Fight! It's all relative; it's like saying what's thicker, a can of beans or a shoe.
That task was kind of dull. Alex's Lionel Richie looked like Nemo, of finding fame.
Vinnie slagging Dane- zzzzz. I see they are showing Alex being a prat in the diary room just as people are voting. Fix!
Alex's sensitive dealing with Jonas' tourettes story was beautiful: 'what, were you dropped on the head or something?'
Alex appreciation society! Aw. It's weird when they're not taking the mick out of him. It makes me uneasy.
I was about as sad to see Ivana go as the housemates (i.e. not very). You can't really boo Ivana. What for? Her earlobes?
Aw look at Stephanie and Ivana's friendship; slightly marred somewhat by the nomination she gave her.
I felt nothing for that first show. Nothing!
2nd show! I guess Nicola's outee then. See ya. Aw, she didn't deserve to go out like that! What a shame. I would rather have seen that happen to someone else. She took it well. Her interview wasn't bad. Davina wasn't too overbearing.
Davina's going in! I wonder how long Davina is going to stay for? Davina doesn't do whispering very well, does she? Is it just a coincidence a girl was evicted and Davina is a girl? Girl hands required!
Vinnie sussed it immediately! LOL. Davina is too ungainly. That farmyard thing was SO creepy. Did Davina not have a plan of action when she went in? She's just scampering around like a prat! I'm glad I'm not watching this after too many painkillers or I'd be right freaked out.
Is she not going to reveal herself AT ALL?! I don't get it!
OK I'll watch Big Mouth to try and suss it out, and as my blog has put lack into lustre tonight. Emma Willis is presenting. She can't read the autocue.
Oh God, not John McCruick again! I'm going to have to bail. You'll have to figure it out yourself! Ta-ra!

Celebrity Big Brother 7: Martha Stewart must be fuming

Bored of blogging every day now, it's like a full time job! I'm going out Friday! Argh! *takes laptop*
Nicola is going to need a lot more work at Stephanie's finishing school.
What is this Ivana stuff all about? I smell bullshit. Ah, it is bullshit.
What sort of name is Coogle fresh? Cougar fresh! Kugel fresh! Much confusion and no LOLs whatsoever. It's all filler, no killer because there's no storylines developing naturally now.
Ad break: Every minute a baby is born! Try contraception!
This task isn't doing it for me. There's not much at stake because I don't think Ivana could care one way or another.
Alex is grateful for kids dying of famine as it makes him feel better about him being slagged off in the paper! He'll be chuffed with the events in Hiati then.
It's hard to tell when Vinnie is pretending to being an arsehole, because it's no different from his regular behaviour. Ah he wasn't even doing it then! Enough said.
What award was Jonas recieving in 2007, best orgy in his mum and dad's hot tub? (I haven't seen the pictures of this one yet!) 'I'm a musician!' Well, barely.
Ivana's award is just a vase glued to a bit of wood. Stephanie does not look amused. Ha, they've got to smash it. Who will do the deed?
Why did Steph smash it before they'd drunk out of it? Was it an accident? I don't have rewind because I'm not at home, I'm on nursing duty! Then they drank out of the shards! Health and safety! What would Mario say?
Ivana seems unphased by the whole thing from start to finish! I don't think she could give a shit about anything! It was nice when Alex kissed her.
Ads: I like singing that 'tonight's going to be a good night' song! I see they've gone from Bright Eyes to Spandau Ballet on the Halifax ad. Just as good, right, Howard?!
I liked Stephanie laughing in the diary room, makes a change from her being so uptight. Aw, Ivana is kind. 'It was ugly anyway!' Then they left her to tidy it up! Harsh.
Not one natural thing happened today; it was virtually all 'scripted'.
All their slating of 'Rocky' just makes me want to vote, vote, vote for him!
Musical montage! I like these bits. They've all got Stephen Baldwin hair! Well done, Alex, thick AND greedy!
Jonas spray tanning Alex! This man is OBSESSED with publicity! Jordan was right to dump him for that. 'Spray my arse, bitch!' Goodness me. Alex is making David Dickinson look like Nicola from Girls Aloud. He's going to end up black! He is totally shameless! I wonder if they did his willy? OMG! He did it! Jordan, don't go down on him, he looks radioactive.
Vinnie is one bitter old shrew. He thinks that makes Alex looks stupid, but actually it makes Alex look like a good laugh.
Vote Alex and Dane to win. I'd PAY to see Vinnie voted out tomorrow!

Celebrity Big Brother 7: I couldn't hit an old man

Why do these celebrities keep using the word 'bonk'?! I've never heard a human say that before, only a newspaper.
Dane's sex tape more searched for than Pammie's? I don't think so! I'd never even heard of it before. Plus, Pammie's was sexier; I've seen both now!
Steph looks cute today with the bow in her hair. Vinnie is going to flip over this task.
I wonder what Dane and Alex REALLY think of each other? There's been remarkably little bitching between them, really. They even have matching outfits on today.
Stephanie has totally had it with Vinnie now, you can see it on her face.
OMG that joke was a horror story. Nicola! Racist! That was mortifying. I think I preferred Alex and Dane's highbrow musing on the logistics of siamese-twin sex. At least they're having a laugh (at Vinnie's expense!).
Basshunter! Bad taste in films as well as in music! How can Vinnie be a favourite actor of ANYONE?!
Oh my god, Stephanie Beacham saying Nic's not allowed to say 'go for a pee' but go to the bathroom. Fuck off, you snotty old cow.
£400 for a pair of socks! Man of the people Vinnie Jones. YES! Alex said it. Go Alex! 'I couldn't hit an old man'. Go Ivana: 'I can't take any more of this boxing bullshit!' If Alex and Dane team up they could take Vinnie DOWN!
Lawks, these highlights are slow tonight! Dane's piss isn't that exciting!
Where is the shopping list this year? I've yet to see Vinnie lording it over the chalkboard. Dane and Alex were like teenagers waiting for their dinner. The giggling was quite pathetic.
I wonder what Ivana thinks of the other housemates? She's a bit inscrutible.
I like Jonas' cardigan, he's cute. I'm glad Dane picked Jonas to go to the secret place. He appreciates it!
Vinnie going 'who me?' when they said he was bound to win was tragic. He's been swanning round like a winner since day one. Vinnie's ego knows no bounds. IMAGINE him being beaten by Alex. Just imagine it. Vote Alex and Dane, let's crush Vinnie's spirits!
Vinnie joking about knocking the shit' out of a pensioner! What a hero!
10.50pm and the housemates have been asleep for an hour?! WTF? They are sleeping like 12 hour nights! It's a joke! This better not be allowed to happen in the civillian version.
MARIO KART! Sweet. Now that is a treat. Jonas was right for that treat because he likes games. It was nice seeing him go to sleep with a smile on his face!

Celebrity Big Brother 7: Third gear to get up to the house

One second in and Vinnie annoyed me. He actually makes my skin crawl. At least Steph stuck to her point in the face of him trying to belittle her. Oh then he went and ratted on her in the diary room! Nice. Real nice. It is HIM who is desperate to win.
Nicola: too stupid to realise when she's being insulted! That was kind of endearing, though.
A big fat orange isn't a home truth, it's just a random insult! I like it. Dane Devito! Harsh. Jonas does look a bit like a rat. Poor Alex, he's so vain (and dumb).
Nicola: 'Tree!' Tree: 'What do you want?' Haha. I like that tree, he's quite rude. Their conversation was brilliant! 'He's going bald!' LOL.
Ha, Vinnie thought the quality of celebrities would be better! Charming! Why is he slagging off Richard Bacon? I like Richard Bacon! Richard Bacon was TOO COOL to go in, unlike you, Jones!
The conversation about Marlon Brando was quite interesting. Why SHOULDN'T Alex wear a bum bag? Should people only do things that the press will approve of? Does Vinnie fax Rupert Murdoch for approval every time he wants to something? Moron.
I thought Nicola did well on that task. She's not a perfect housemate; but there's more good in her than bad. She's got a bit of charm.
The first thing I thought when I saw her message from home was 'where's her boyfriend?' so after the fuss she made about that photo not having the right lighting/ the appropriate photoshopping, god knows what she's going to make of this. I mean you know your parents are going to stand by you in the house; even Kinga's mum probably took her back in. It's your partner you'd worry about, I'd imagine. There's no doubt BB did it deliberately; she's probably getting a bit too close in the odds to Vinnie so they want to scupper her chances by making her have a crack up.
'Man of the people' Vinnie bragging about his money was tragic; if you're such a big man, why are you on this show? Can't you drive yourself? You're not 'speaking for the public' now, are you? Plus he interrupts, all the time! He's just trying to be top dog over Alex, it's fucking pathetic, it's beyond pathetic, actually. He'll be bragging about how big his knob is next. Just because you live on a steep hill, doesn't mean your house is any good, you twat.
Those charades looked good, I'd have liked to have seen more of those. They were quite good at getting them actually! They were hard.
I didn't know Dane and Jordan had a sex tape! I'll be typing that into Voggle later. Or maybe not. OMG I just found it already *uses bleach for eyedrops*. Why are celebrity sex tapes always so BORING? I mean, surely you're saving your best work for when you've got the camera out! Jordan looked thoroughly bored using that vibrator. And those knickers! The sex was almost silent! It's funny, you'd kind of imagine Jordan would have sex like this, posing and preening and not having very much fun. I mean, don't people laugh when they have sex in real life? Who leaked this? There's no excuse for putting us through this shit, it's like Paranormal Activity all over again. Also, Jordan looked 100% inflatable, and Dane Bowers willy is really weird looking. I'm going to have to rethink my options towards him.
And the filth continues. Dane slept with 5 women at once! Do you think it was as much fun as that video? Probably less fun as it wasn't on film, although I can't imagine how. A sex toy up your bum! I'm glad Stephanie wasn't up for this conversation. I can't believe they went to bed at quarter to eleven! What sort of party is that? Haha, and they all went to bed whilst Jonas was in the diary room! Harsh. I like Jonas. He's an idiot, but he's alright.
God, there's no one to believe in, is there?

Celebrity Big Brother 7: Sing, Beacham, sing!

'Will you miss Ivana, Stephanie?' 'No' would have sufficed. I've seen less skirting around an issue on Question Time.
Another convert to Stephen's crew, just as he walks out the door! Will BB give them the Bibbles? Probably not, it's not in their contract.
Stephanie would miss the Bible but not you, Stephen! Take your Dot Cotton philosophies away back to Baldwin manor. Praise the Lord!
Song time in BB bedroom. Someone tried to do me ache! That's what I'm afraid of. Could this be the new Insania? It doesn't ache you, it hurts you! Argh, it's like trying to reason with Molko all over again.
I think I preferred the old Stephanie. I reckon they're going to burst into Kumbayah in a minute.
I didn't like Nicola having a go at Sisqo, I can't be arsed with her. I don't get why they all don't like Sisqo so much. He seems a lot more reasonable than them.
Flat pack challenge! Vinnie is going to shit no being able to look at those instructions. He is such an aggressive arsehole, the way he stomps around is wholly unpleasant.
There's a lot of back-biting going on in that house at the moment. Many a true word spoken in jest, says the cliche generator.
I'm feeling a little 'begruntled'! Oh Dane, I'm afraid you've got your lickle wordies mixed up!
God, Vinnie is such a fucking STIRRER! Get that guy a wooden spoon and his bus fair home, I can't stand it anymore! He has totally ruined this series for me. I'd rather have Gazza weeping and drinking in there.
Alex: 'I've been syndicated!' Bless him. Yeah, Alex give it to Vinnie! Give it to him! Haha, then Ivana got stuck in.
Sisqo SMILED when he heard 'get Stephen out'! Mean! Stephen got cheered, I don't care what they say. Oh sorry for booing, Vinnie, you don't CONTROL THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE YOU CUNT.
Was Ivana happy to stay? It's hard to tell with her face. Alex going 'in your face' as he left! I've never heard such a thing.
Vinnie's arrogance is really going into the Rex stratosphere now. I so hope he's digging his own grave here. I think even Steph was backing off from it a bit. He even told Ivana to sling her hook.
What is Annabels?! I want to go there.
Why is Nicola so far up Vinnie's arse today? I can't stand it!
Ivana got jealous when Stephanie was getting a massage of Alex! I don't think he was putting his back into it, to be honest. Then he nearly whipped her wig off.
Alex looked scared when Nicola was probing him. Dane is a little bitter. Mind you, it would be a little weird; he did go out with Jordan for 2 years.
I don't mind Alex; he's barely managed to cobble together a personality, but he's harmless enough. Wouldn't it be funny to see Alex beat Vinnie though? Can you imagine Vinnie's face?
Do the right thing; vote for anyone else except the V man. Pip pip!

Celebrity Big Brother 7: I want to talk to my solicitor

I can't believe they cut it all out, but I was watching the live feed last night and Jonas was basically crying because he found out his manager taking FIFTY percent off him was a bit of a piss take. Poor Jonas. He's learning a lot about life in that house, but I think it will make him a better person. My favourite part of that conversation was when Steph was asking if Jonas's manager pays for the venue and posters. Jonas said yes. Then she said, 'And does he pay for the bunting and balloons?' LOL! Now THAT'S a rave-up.
The fact they cut ALL of that out to focus on Vinnie stomping round looking like a bulldog who's stood on a nail and then got kicked in the cunt says everything you need to know about this show.
Anyway, on with tonight. Vinnie you little snitch! What a fucking loser. 'Hard man' Vinnie Jones! Upset by little old Sisqo! Dane was 'lying there with Vinnie in his bed'! Ugh! Vinnie is being threatening. Sounds like Sisqo told the truth to me. Vinnie is as out of touch with his own personality as Sov is.
Are you really going to keep in a man who said 'I want to speak to my solicitor' over some drunken chat (which can't have been that offensive as I don't even remember it, and it was only yesterday).
He's projecting all over that situation. What a horrible man! I thought I'd seen it all from Vinnie, but he's really plumbing new depths of patheticness today.
I just want to say a big FUCK YOU to Vinnie's family. Hope that didn't offend them (much).
Sisqo, why are you grovelling to Vinnie? Fuck him! He's a tool. Furthermore, why is Sisqo dressed as a nun?
OMG I think I'm going to vomit about Nicola squeezing Alex's spots. I wouldn't do that for my boyfriend, let alone Neanderthal Tan.
Dane slapped Stephanie's arse with style! He's good at these tasks, isn't he?
Stephen's party was good! No more bad language. 'Fuck yeah!' I like their montages to music, it's a bit like Eastenders, but more cheery.
Pass the parcel! Nice. Alex's panties looked alright!
The name of that game with the sticks and the marbles is Kerplunk, you ninnies.
I liked Big Brother playing a trick on them, it was cute. Stephanie took it quite well, I must say.
Alex doesn't condone the fake poo gag! Don't rummage through the bin for fake poo, there's no chocolate cake in there, Geri Halliwell. Stephen doesn't condone it: 'put it down by her feet!' Haha.
Jonas timed that fart quite well with poo-gate. Ew, Alex chewed it!
Second show! Sisqo must survive. Stephen hasn't got a hope in 'Hell'! Ho ho ho.
Stevie B's out! He got loads of cheers actually. His highlights were amazing! He looked quite sharp I thought.
Oh god, he's representing Jesus! I think Jesus is displeased with Stephen's representation.
Davina: you're going straight to hell, girlfriend!
Stephen gave good interview. Even Davina restrained herself from talking over him for most of the time.
No way, I can't BELIEVE Ivana beat Sisqo! I even fucking voted for Ivana. This is bullshit; another victory for Team Vinnie. No doubt it was Vinnie's straggly old wife with Sisqo on speed-dial because she was so offended by his non-existent behaviour the other night.
Vinnie is going to walk this fucker now. HE'S NOT A NATIONAL HERO!
I think the votes WERE strategic for Sisqo. He was done- he's a decent guy.
So it's a vote to win now? Vote Dane! Don't let that fucking prick Vinnie Jones win or I'll come kick your arse. I mean it!

Celebrity Big Brother 7: I can grab a man's balls and still be straight

'Previously on Big Brother'! It's not 24!
Oh Stephen. The emperor's new clothes look fab on you. 'Take the bible in there and give it the old...'!
The is some demonic activity in that house, but it aint paranormal. I truly believe that they will turn on Dane when they find out the truth. Although it will make him popular with us, being a good liar won't make him popular in that house.
I feel too cold, and now I feel too warm again! It's like a torture camp in there. I'm sick of trying to spell Guantanemo. Oops.
So Dane's not allowed to tell them about the task? I think that's a good thing for him, to be honest.
Why wouldn't Simon (Nicola's bloke) be worried about Dane? I think he should be, a little, those two are quite close, in a subtle way.
Stephanie complaining of 'sex in the dormitory'. You're not at boarding school, love, you're 50 years too old.
Nice of BB to cook for them! Vinnie was probably jealous.
Alex coming on hard man stylee in the diary room! Don't fuck with him! He'll whoop your arse.
Bisexual talk! Jonas wants to be part of the 'have your cake and eat it society' (tm. Russell Brand). Don't trust those bisexuals, I say. Just look at Brian Molko. No, really, though, I liked what Jonas said about people being uncomfortable with their own sexuality being scared by bisexuality. It's true. And Sisqo DID look a bit shifty!
Meat is murder! Bisexuality, dead animals, it's like a Morrissey Big Brother special. What is WRONG with these tasks? It's grotesque. Weaving offal in and out of holes- yummy!
The Wonderstuff! Miles Hunt! They need those royalties, believe me. Oh my god, this is disgusting, I can barely look. I would vomit. There's no way I could do that task in a billion years. It looked very Damien Hurst.
The Sov hate train rumbles on! Stephanie, she has really been the undoing of your character. Your hate for her says more about you and your fear than it does about Sov.
Nicola is complaining about that picture again! Yes they are sending you a hateful message via the photo of the snowman! Look at that snowman's beady eyes, he's trying to nick your man, love. Ungrateful idiot.
Poor Jonas, he's a broken man these days.
Vinnie is more nosy than Dot Cotton. He's got an opinion on EVERYTHING! Let's see how you react when you get nominated. The Sisqo hate is unbecoming. Sisqo is bland but harmless.
I liked Alex's tales from the mental asylum. Stephen didn't, though!
Stephen, my dear, you do not get to call people from the Big Brother house. But don't worry, you'll be out of there on Friday. And it's pronounced WROTH.
Don't threaten Big Brother, Stephen! They'll take away your Bible! He's sending the BB staff to Hell. I heard a funny conversation between Sisqo and Stephen the other day where Sisqo said, 'You know when you burn yourself on the oven? Imagine that ALL DAY LONG in Hell! Damn!' LOL!
Sisqo, we don't talk about winning BB in this country. And we don't vote for 'role models'. I think you're not quite understanding the demographic of the BB viewer. Don't mention you want to win- ever.
Amazing Grace as sung by the undead!
Vinnie was actually giving Alex some quite good advice in the bedroom. I don't think Peter Andre is going to start hanging with Alex somehow.
Oh lawks, Stephen has converted Basshunter too!
The Vinnie fanclub is so cloying. Jonas is drunk. Vinnie doesn't want those compliments! He's 45! He knows the score! Fuck me, Stephanie is like Vinnie's moll. Vinnie is one manipulative motherfucker. He reminds me of Carol who was in there one year; she set herself up as indispensible to the housemates, turned on the waterworks and survived eviction until the very end. The viewers saw right through it.
I still like Stephen. I like his tattle-tailing. I'm upset it's a double eviction. Keep Sisqo in, vote Ivana out.
This is Vinnie's house! Let's burn the mother-fucker down.

Celebrity Big Brother 7: A bit like your career

This blog is coming at you live from south london, as I cleverly locked myself out of my flat earlier! Brilliant. Even better when you live alone.
Ha, it's funny they turned the heat up and the water off, I saw alex complaining about this last night and he was NOT happy. Salt/ sugar swap: Sov getting the blame when she's not even there!
I don't think Stephen and Vinnie are going to take too kindly to BB's jiggery-pokery! There'll be tears before bedtime.
Weasel-gate. What animal is Vinnie? He's kind of like a rhino, bulldozering his way through everything.
Stephen, I hardly think you having to sit on a bench is equivilent to Jesus getting nailed to a cross. I think he's going to flip today. I can see it in his eyes.
Why have they painted the benches with honey? Weird. Sisqo looks under pressure.
They should have got Vinnie to ruin the dinner, not Dane. Dane was not very amused by the tree, was he? What is a 'busy fucker'?
I don't like it when they get punished, really, it makes for miserable viewing.
I missed the middle 15 minutes because there was a power cut, but only in the room in my boyfriend's house that I'm in?! I'm pretty cursed today. And you know bad things come in threes, so I'll probably spontaneously combust in my sleep (oh, I forgot, that phenomenon doesn't happen anymore since we got camera phones- odd that!)
The power out (arcade fire!) was fixed just in time for me to see them all enjoying Dane's chilli powder! Epic fail!
See those blankets BB gave them? I stayed in a hotel that had blankets like that recently.
Vinnie gloating that all the foreigners got nominated. Well done, you're a racist. Ho ho ho.
I think Sisqo was genuinely gutted. Vinnie stirring the pot about him! What is up with that man? It's not hard for americans to do well, if they are likeable. Vinnie, stop speaking for the public! It's OK if everyone presumes Vinnie is going to win, but not if Sisqo fancies his chances? I'm sick of hearing Vinnie's voice, to be honest. Keep Sisqo in: let's rub Vinnie's face in it. I have faith in the British public; I don't think they will let Vinnie win.
The heating thing is just cruel- why do I not feel sorry for them?! I like it when Alex goes all prissy. It's not a very good threat; 'you might get what you want, some good TV.' That's like when I said to my boyfriend; 'can you make us a cup of tea, and if you don't I'm going to do it?' Folly!
Alex fighting the power! Smash that emergency door! I saw a bit of a different side to Alex on live feed last night; like he dropped his guard and wasnt just a loveable buffoon, but had a unpleasant side to him as well. There was just something about it that made me uneasy. Having said that, he was tired and they were torturing him, so I'll give him another chance.

That tree is cheeky! Dane's 'scream like a girl' task; I actually saw this on live feed and thought it was genuine. I jumped out of my skin. Dane's acting was absolutely amazing, like straight-faced genius. He didn't come out of character for a second and the way he made them wait by pretending he couldn't even speak was just fantastic. I thought something awful had happened to him, and no one twigged for a second that it might be a task. I actually wanted to call someone up and discuss it; and that was the joy of Big Brother, back when it was managed lovingly, that it was a talking point. I miss that.

Compare Dane's bravery to Jonas pathetically refusing to put salt in someone's bed.

I also now know who Paranormal Activity's target audience was, because they all said they liked it. It's SHIT!

Another brilliant part was Alex waking up ready to rumble, he was ready to go! They didn't show it from a good angle on the show, it was funnier on the live feed. If I was Jordan I'd definitely feel safe in my bed if I heard a creak in the night, this guy is action man! How funny would it have been if he'd knocked Dane out cold?! Stephen is going to blame this on the devil, you do know that.

Dane actually looked white as a sheet. And he got his hug! He was absolutely brilliant. They fucked this up totally in the show, they didn't show anywhere NEAR enough of it. They could have done ten minutes on it at least from the footage I saw. If I was the suspicious type, I'd say they don't want Dane to win over the chosen one. Well done, BB editors, another enormous fuck up on your part. You don't even know TV gold when you've got it. Back to Vinnie cam!

It goes without saying now; but Dane to win. I've even stopped calling him Dame. You earn respect; and he just earned mine. I might even start fancying him.

Celebrity Big Brother 7: This is Europe, baby

I was watching the live feed last night, listening to Stevie B bludgeoning Sisqo with the Bible and thought; BB have really scored an own goal here. By not putting anyone in that house capable of standing up to him, they are just providing a platform for him. It's just the God channel. He's converted Sisqo. He's half converted Alex. Job done.
How long before Vinnie gets his very own birdwatching task? I predict before the end of this very show. Talking of tits...
Vinnie, I have had these two weeks to judge you. You're an a-hole.
It's funny that Sisqo and Alex are both jealous of each other. My abs are bigger than your abs!
Alex laughing about Jordan's books! Supportive! Mind you...
What pop career has Jordan had? She released that song off Aladdin with Peter 'Dignified Silence' Andre, and failed to get on Eurovision in that rank pink catsuit. That's a 'career' best swept under the carpet.
I don't want Nicola to get a 'column'! I want my own column! I'm a writer! Get off my territory.
What is WRONG with Stephen? He is obsessed with things happening that didn't happen. He is obsessed with the men's physiques in the house. There is something unhinged in his mind. Europe don't need Jesus! And nor does England! Heh.
Jonas is pining! Ahhh.
I don't blame Ivana not wanting to strip off, she's fucking 60 odd! Have a fucking heart, Vinnie. He didn't like it when Steph disagreed with him, did he? He's a sexist prick. As for Nicola moaning about her cellulite, there's nothing worse than skinny people complaining about their bodies. Zzzzz. OMG she is SO skinny without clothes in. I don't think she knows how to spell cellulite.
Ahhhhh! Vinnie mentioned the cheque Ivana's getting. NOW we get to the crux of it. He didn't like it the other day when they said Ivana got the biggest cheque! So now he's got to humiliate her! I see!
When's YOUR half an hour of humiliation going to be, Vinnie? Oh I forgot; in all the 'films' you're in.
Aw, did Stephen do a rubbish picture because he was scared of getting a hard-on looking at Ivana's craggy old dellocatage (is that how you spell that? I guess not as it only gave me 4 results on google!)
Stephanie's drawing was good! Stephen's was pathetic. Alex's seemed to lack Nicola (maybe Jordan forced him not to look via a contract before he went in the house). Dane's was also good, as was Sisqo's. Jonas has a similar level of art ability to me: i.e. very little. Vinnie's was kind of sexy/trashy and I liked Sov's.
Aw Stevie B's getting a ticking off from Daddy! 'That's not like you'. Are you disappointed in him? Is he grounded? Yeah, Stephen, no TV and no leaving the house for the rest of the week! That'll learn him!
If Vinnie called me 'dear' like he did Nicola, I'd tell him to go stick it up his arse. They thought Sov was bad? I'd fucking sort him aht!
On yer bike Sov, you little gimp. She's got the key! She's got the secret! Well if they aint going to bother to look for a keyhole, fuck 'em.
I liked Stephen's blind supporting of Sov! The others were unbecoming in their slating of her straight after; that just doesn't happen on the regular BB.
I'm not sure about those speed nominations; face to face nominations are better and more shocking.
I do find Sisqo a little duplicitous, and a little too eager to agree with whoever he's talking to. I just wished SOMEONE had stood up for her after she left. Just one person. Ah- that person is Stephen! Go Stevie!
OMG Vinnie just did a Sov and sloped off when Stephen was talking! What a fucking hypocrite this man is!
Despite everything (and it is a lot); there is just something inherently likeable about Stephen, that is just lacking in Vinnie. He's controversial, and that makes him interesting in a sea of dead wood.
Interesting that Nicola was the only one who agreed with him! Evil Nic! 'It is what it is!' Just shoot me right now.
Oh God, Bible studies. I saw Nicola get this photograph of her husband and kid on the live feed, and she was TRULY grateful, because here's some of the many things she said about it: 'I wish my baby was smiling/ I wish my husband was looking at the camera/ it doesn't really look like her/ She looks freezing/ That dress is too small for her/ I wish it was a different picture'. Nice!
But Sisqo and Stephen both said her husband was hot, so that's OK.
OMG Vinnie 'I need more competition'. His ego is OUT OF CONTROL! TWAT!
Vinnie: 'my wife's had a heart transplant'. When? '22 years ago.' That's one dusty old sob story. Even Simon Cowell might not bother to rubber stamp that one.
Dane's face when Stephen was laughing about them going to hell was amazing! I think BB does need to get tougher. Confiscate the Bible! That'll do it.