TV Round Up: Bin Raiders!

I've been watching a bit of anything and everything lately but nothing enough to write a whole blog about so I'm just going to do a general mash-up.
Obviously I've been watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I already saw them online. Still, a consistent joy. I've also really been enjoying Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares; god knows why, I hate good food so I must just love shouting. I am also alway loving American Idol, Deal or No Deal and Harry Hill's V Burp.
I've also got into watching a zillion episodes of Maury. Bloody hell, are they ever about ANYTHING than paternity tests? Where are the progerianoids when you need them? There was one woman who tested NINE men to be her baby's father and still didn't find him. Nine! It should be two at an absolute MAXIMUM. And even if it's two, just abort for God's sake. Maury's alright though, he's nice and crinkly. On a further talk-show tip, I've watched a couple of Nothing But The Truth's with Jerry Springer. That's kind of stupid and annoying. The lie detector senses you are lying! If lie detectors are so bloody accurate we'd have no need for a court of law.
Today for the first time ever I watched The Real Hustle, which I thought was pretty good in a Derren Brown meets Trigger Happy sort of a way. They are not showing you how to AVOID being conned, they are showing YOU how to con people. Cool.
Wife Swap is just going to drastic levels this year, Sunday's episode saw a millionaire who lived in what looked like a comedy haunted house swap with some Christian Bin Raiders! Yes that is as disgusting as it sounds. They'll never top Lizzie Bardsley so they may as well just forget it.
Soaps! Corrie's been alright, enjoyed the wedding fiasco. He shouldn't have married dopey Maria. I quite fancy Ryan, the school boy, which is a worry. Not so keen on the other son, and he looks about five years older. Stick with Ryan, Michelle. I quite like Hearsay woman. She's alright.
Enderz. Is it just me or has Tanya suddenly got 12 billion times sexier than she used to be? She looks two stone lighter. I still would with Sean. Max= the fatther who must be killed. The following characters need to be sacked: Stephen (in fact all of Ians kids) Yolande, the postman, the postman's nagging bint of a wife, STACEY'S MUM, Gus (wife beater), Chelsea, that bloke with the chav kid, Max's bratty daughter, Mickey and that new girl who keeps gurning over people's shoulders. Thanks.

Entertainment Mash up

OK I have no TV I'm religiously watching at the mo, so here's the news in brief:
Britney. Did look fat (but only compared to how she used to), she seemed pretty out of it. I feel sorry for her really. That song was stuck in my head ALL NIGHT though. I like the host of the MTV Awards, she was pretty funny. Had to turn it off quite sharpish though because Alicia 'talking on her phone' Keys came on and I wanted to put my boot through the screen. I flicked back a bit but it was a parade of cunts: Kanye West- how dare you do that to Daft Punk? Justin 'we haven't forgotten your afro' Timbergay and oh God, I don't even know who else. I'm not down with the kids anymore.
I watched the new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm tonight that they showed in Yankee Land last night! I love it, it's like prozac. It's like furry socks. Pretty, pretty good. Larry can do no wrong.
I'm still watching Medium religiously, but it can't really be blogged about. Patricia Arquette is the best thing ever, so that's that.
Eastenders is as shit as ever, except for Peggy falling off that stool, and then Phil falling headfirst into a cake. Kill Chelsea Fox! And Deano! Their acting makes me angry. Corrie was quite good tonight: Roy got all mad! I enjoyed Hayley perusing the Pixies CDs. But would we really love Hayley if she was played by a REAL transexual? I always thought her character was a bit of a cop-out. Like 'we'll accept you but only because you've not REALLY had your dick cut off.' Liz judging Violet for having a baby with Sean was annoying too. But it's alright for her to bring up kids with a violent man. (Er... it's not real. Oh yeah)
Ms Lopez texted me to say Jim Davidson is being a homophobe on Hells Kitchen (didn't see THAT coming!) I knew I should have kept watching it! Motherfuck. Hmm, 'My 100,000' lovers is on now. Perhaps I'll give that a go. Oh shit, I've seen it before.