Thursday, 1 February 2018

Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Feel good finale eve!

So I kind of gave up blogging this series because it went a bit quiet and podcasting for three plus hours a week felt like enough. But I wanted to do a general overview and final blog.
I have really enjoyed the series and the casting was good on the whole. The triple eviction of Andrew, Dapper and Jonny was really stupid and made the final week a lot duller. To give one side power, have four up and kick three out is not good (quick) maths. I really misssed Andrew as a character (although I've heard we'll see him tonight - mixed feelings on that) and I thought the way Emma treated him in his interview was so disproportionate to what he actually did (called Ann a cunt - which she is) that it was offensive in itself. The fact that Daniel came out and didn't get pulled up on his continuous casual sexism (probably because he was going to propose to his girlfriend) was disappointing yet entirely predictable. I personally thought Andrew was spot on with what he said to Ann and with her 'protector of the unborn' crap last night, that was the final nail in her coffin for me. Do what you want with your withered womb Ann, but don't tell me what to do with mine. Ever.
As we predicted. Ann vs Courtney has become the story of the final week, and will be the the story of the final, with the result shining a light on us as a nation. Are we going to tolerate (and reward) the intolerant? My fear is that the answer is yes. Please say it aint so. Yet, Jim Davidson. 
So in tonight's episode all the old housemates are coming back, which is fine and will be entertaining, and I'm here for it... as long as it doesn't blow up Shane/Courtney's game.
Ginuwine is waking up the housemates, as opposed to putting them to sleep for once.
Where did these strippers come from! Wayne grabbing his crotch I can live without, although I do like Wayne (especially when he's drunk). I hope one of the strippers sits on Ann's lap.
Wayne after Ann scarpered: 'Ann is such a spoilsport but more for us.' Ha!
Male strippers are so gross. I couldn't look at them first thing in the morning either, to be honest. But I would... just because it was something new to look at.
John 'kick them out of the club' Barnes is now making Ann and Jess play football. That is a bad punishment. Sports bra needed for Ann, please. I put a sports bra on to play Just Dance earlier. You gotta keep those boobs in check.
I really HATE Ann talking to the camera. She's no Dan Gheesling and it's such an airtime grab. Just cos she can't interact with human housemates. She is a true gamer, which I don't mind, it's just her odious views she can keep.
India is reading the CBB news. I like her haircut. Fun watching them show Courtney's (fake) fall going in. You can tell it was fake because Shane J didn't look appalled, but who cares if it was fake? (Yeah, fuck off Amanda). It was hilarious. I like them watching clips of themselves. Shane L making a sandwich is literally his highlight of the series.
Amanda bathing Wayne, ha! Jess's 'cucumbers have salmonella' crap was the fakest shit I've ever seen (even though apparently it was true, I don't believe it). Also, Jess should have spoken up for herself yesterday when they were talking about sex on TV. Instead she sold her mates out. Not cool.
Ha, they are showing Dapper's proposal (one of the most cringe TV moments of the year so far... one step up from getting engaged on The Jeremy Kyle show).
India is summarising them all at the end. Said Shane J could risk 'becoming preachy'. Leave him alone. Watching Shane J get ostracised over the past week has been hard to watch as his heart is in the right place. Unlike someone in there who doesn't have one.
India mentioning her gender to Ann, ha. Ha, Ann throwing shade at India saying the public wasn't behind her. Then saying 'thank heavens the public don't have gender dysmorphia.' Oh dear.
Ann: 'India has a persecution complex.' That could be partly true but I still think she was a great housemate.
Dapper is now talking to the house. How is Jess so good at the 'yes/no' game when she's so 'dumb', hmm? I'm crap at it.
Shane J is soooo happy to see Daniel, aw! Shane J would like a night with Andrew where he couldn't talk. Me too!
I love Andrew talking from the memory wall, that's proper Tree of Temptation territory. My heart actually soared. It was proper Big Brother magic there. Like William going down the tunnel or Surly in the fishtank. It was such a good idea.
Wayne thinking Courtney was kissing Andrew's picture on the wall was so cute. I saw on Twitter Andrew gave Ann the finger when she walked past but I missed it! Legend.
Ha, Courtney confessing her 'love' for Andrew to Jess and then 'flirting with Wayne'. She looks ten foot taller than him.
Shane J then has to get Ann to try on one of her wigs. Haaa to Andrew giving it the thumbs up in the background! I wish Ann had seen it. Courtney; 'I don't think it's you' to Ann. Lolllllll. I'll say.
Wayne and Courtney are both dressed quite gaudily and similarly!
Andrew looks the best I've ever seen him inside the wall and he's coming across the nicest he ever has. Plus he's not had a go at Ann yet. Oh hold on, 'You smashed it, every single one of you. Even you, Ann.' Great passive aggressive stuff there! Just the right tone.
Oh no, they're making Rachel rap again. Why! 'Shane L did all the cooking but did you ever open your mouth' was a good line, though.
Ah all the old housemates coming back in. India: 'Ann, we will have a hug.' Jess sobbing to see Ashley! Why!
Aw the boys are in the hot tub! That's really cute actually. Another good idea from the task team. Ahhh Andrew's hug and kiss for Courtney brought a tear to my eye. Love them!
The housemates must be getting sooooo much info from this lot. This is why we don't have nice things - I mean live feed.
India is like the ghost at the feast, ha. She's counselling Courtney, bloody hell. Her advice is actually good. 'Your work is done' to Courtney. That seemed pretty genuine. Courtney looks stunning tonight.
India to Andrew and Courtney: 'Love comes in many forms.' True. Andrew, India and Courtney 'would be the craziest threesome in the world.' I liked India's 'I'm not being the jam in your sandwich, though.'
Rachel is trying to get the goss out of Andrew and Shane. Rachel saying Andrew's sign to Shane 'broke the internet.' Stop, Rachel. You're too old for memes.
What is this fake ass crap between Ashley and Ginuwine. Way to ruin my buzz. Scripted or what? Have they not spoken since they've been in the outside world?! Take your fake shit back to Made in Chelsea, bitch. 
Courtney and Andrew in the loo. Andrew is DEFINITELY getting a blowjob tomorrow night. His goodbye to Courtney: 'You are the most amazing thing I've met.' Thing! I have to hand it to him though, he didn't go in and tear into Ann. Much as I'd have liked to see it, it was best for Courtney's game that he didn't.
Malika going 'just win' to Courtney, aw.
Aw that was cute when the old housemates were at the top of the stairs. What a feel good episode! I wasn't expecting it, especially since this week has been a bit flat. Bringing the old housemates back could have easily gone another way, so well done to Ted (aka the producers) for keeping it light. We've had enough debates to last us the whole of 2018.
BB on Blast listeners, please give Shane J a vote! See you for Celebrity Big Brother US, which starts on 7th February. If you've never watched a BBUS this could be a good introduction to it. Enjoy the final, thanks for reading.

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