Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Undercover Boss: Southern Fried Chicken

I can't believe they are DARING to do an undercover boss in a cheapo chicken shop. The Managing Director must have some balls. LOL! The MD looks exactly as you'd expect. Greasy!
The most people I've ever seen eating cheap chicken is on Old Street at lunchtime when about a thousand school children stand on street corners noshing the stuff. They are literally like human pigeons. My favourite cheap chicken shop in Old Street is amazingly called something like FCFK. Quite.
Apparently in other countries SFC is a real rival to KFC abroad. Foreign tourists must get a shock when they come here and see our ones! In the 200 shops in the UK SFC is vile, and barely even a rival to Dallas Chicken, Favourite Chicken, Chicken Cottage et al. I reckon I could name at least 25 more cheap chicken branches in London. They're more prevalent than Boris bikes, and more English, somehow, ironically, as a half the staff and customers aren't. In fact, it's not English, is it, it's London, multicultural, poor, and looking for a cheap meal. Me included.
So they're rebranding SFC. Are they going to get a better class of clientèle, rather than teenage boys grunting 'Gimme thigh!' Go in a cheapo chicken shop late at night in London: ALL human life is there. Just mind you don't get stabbed.
The SFC toilets look gross. KFC toilets are bad enough, and they've got the Colonels noggin on them. I am salivating at the thought of this MD meeting them.
The people who work in those chicken shops must be part saint/ part have no choice. Can you imagine the shit they have to deal with? Drunken, agressive, rude arseholes. The threat of violence.
The MD is worried about giving people food poisoning. With some of these people, how could you even tell? Him having to wipe the counter down after someone did a moonie on it must have been a highlight.
The MD had 'no idea' what his customers were like. Well it's not likely to be Tarquin and Jemima out for their 25th anniversary, is it?
Oh God, I'm not sure I want to see where the staff go to get their chicken from. It's not even a cash and carry, it's just a local shop!
'How do you know when you need to change the oil?' 'When it goes black.' YUM! This dude is going to get sacked.
Raw chicken on the floor! Finger licking good! I think I'm going to vomit. If this is happening in SFC, what the fuck do you think is happening in FCFK?
The greasy MD is worrying about putting these people out of business. He should be more worried about poisoning his customers. NB. He reminds me a bit of Michael Moore. But without the ethics. Why is he going on about the 'true recipe'? He doesn't have a secret recipe! If he did I'd be in there getting my delicious crispy strips from him.
Uh oh, Imran is stocking a rival chicken recipe and he's got 'Imrans' on the shirts instead of SFC. LOL! Imran is going DOWN. He's quite handsome, if you take away, you know, working in a cheap chicken shop. He's got lovely eyelashes. I guess living in Afghanistan is marginally worse than dealing with the customers in SFC.
The SFC brand is fucked! None of his shops are on brand. There's no seasoning on his chicken. His own staff don't give a shit. Like I said: he's brave admitting this on TV. The rot must have started somewhere; surely he should know what's going on in his own shops?
The reveal. Normally they get a promotion at the end. In this one they got a bollocking.
Isham from Afghanistan, with the filmstar good looks, if it wasn't for the chip fat, got sent him back to see his baby who he hasn't seen in three years. Cynical? Yes. But this is the best Undercover Boss I've seen in ages. The Ann Summers one last week was whack. What was she thinking with that wig!? Mentals.


Anonymous said...

Fuck you you absolute hypocrite, first of all you dont know half the story about what happens in those shops, it takes a lot of hard work and money to run one of these, and secondly its not rubbish food at all, if it was then withers wouldnt be making that much cash at all. Stop hating on these, these shops are some peoples livelyhood and they put everything they have on the line for these to work. Then some fucking wanking media scumbags come along pretending to be just some engineers and lying their teeth out and withers backstabbing his own people using his brand. Theres many sfc out there that didnt get any help from himself at all but have been running for 10 years and over. Now he decides to come and crticise them, fair enough he owns the brand but to put his brand down like that he must have balls the stupid idiot. And for you coming on here commenting about it is just absolutely sad and need to find yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend and go out and enjoy some chicken lol!!! I came across this post on google and just wanted to see how sad someone was about posting something like this which is lame and you need to get. Life mate and out the house. End of story so dont post back please. Fucking twat you must of had a bad childhood. Wanker go die.

lightupvirginmary said...

1. Why am I a hypocrite? I am a hypocrite, but why specifically here?
2. I don't deny it's hard work, I said it's a horrible, unforgiving place to work. I am actually agreeing with a lot of your points, but it looks like you decided what you were going to post before you even read my blog.
3. I eat in chicken shops!
4. I said it was wrong that he left the shops unattended for so long!
5. There is NO excuse for poor hygiene in a shop like that; you could KILL someone.
6. Is me blogging it worse than you googling it and then commenting on my blog? At least I was creative.
7. I pretty much live off chicken. I just don't want to die off it.
8. I have a boyfriend and he's lush.
9. I will comment as it's MY blog. My name above the door.
10. I did have a bad childhood but at least I don't work in SFC. :)

Anonymous said...

Oooooo you use numbers now....
im not even guna argue as its just to lame to argue on a post. And tbh its probly better than most ppls wage in there. Ive seen experienced chefs getting 400+ in a week. So shhh please end of story. Dnt post again keep your dignity.

lightupvirginmary said...

My dignity? You called me a wanker and said 'fuck you' on MY blog. I replied very calmly to you.
I'll post whatever and whenever I want, anonymous. Try using your real name next time, if you can spell it.

TD said...

Hilarious post, and well played when responding to the initial 'Anonymous'.

Its fair to say that only one of the people arguing there left with dignity intact, and it wasn't Anon. Keep up the good writing.

Unknown said...

I can not believe all the sll that i stirred up a hornets nest but had to be done Andrew Withers