Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Leslie Ash: Face to Face

I used to work for a cosmetic surgery chain, and every single day the first op was a repair job. Not a repair of someone's wrinkly face, or saggy boobs, but of the surgeon's botched last job, a redo. It was treated as casually as can be (as were issues of hygene and privacy, on my first day there I was shown a woman on the operating table getting her boobs cut open, and I don't think she had much of a say in it). I could have got cut-price plastic surgery, had I wanted it. I could think of few things I want less.
Never has there been a harsher lesson in vanity than for Leslie Ash. Utterly disfigured and mocked and all because of a freebie lip job (and also allegedly beaten by her husband, then hospitalised and nearly paralysed, but that's another story). I thought she came across as a very honest and emotional person in this documentary. You could see how much it was affecting her at times. It must be so horrific to be basically deformed by your own hand and for everyone to be so unsympathetic. I felt sorry for her, and I liked her.
At the fake botox party how rude was that woman saying 'my dad told me I was going to come back looking like Leslie Ash' (to Leslie Ash!) I thought she took that quite well. It is mad anyone (i.e. not a doctor) can inject cosmetic fillers; that is just plain wrong.
The guy Barrie who had plastic injected into his face and his nose nearly dropped off didn't look too bad now, but it looked horrific at the time. It must be awful to be quite vain anyway and to be that unlucky.
That injectable boob job looked quite good. I bet they deflate quite rapidly though. It'd be rubbish if you were having sex and that happened.
I can't believe someone let Leslie Ash inject their lips. Madness! That's got to be bad luck, at the very least.
Fuck me, Toyah Wilcox's facelift looked good. That would tempt even me. God, turkey neck! I'm so looking forward to getting old. Remind me not to go clothes shopping with Toyah, though, her bare-faced telling Leslie Ash she was beautiful was scarily convincing.
So, would I ever have botox? No. I have this other great solution; a fringe!
But would I say never to plastic surgery, like when I'm 50? Even though I'm a hardened feminist and believe it's what's inside that counts and all that bullshit, do I totally rule it out?
No way! Besides, in the future it'll be all painless and foolproof and stuff. Shit, I keep forgetting the future isn't light-years away- it's nearly here! (so why haven't they invented flying cars yet!?)

3 comments:

Ossian said...

I'm just here to confirm that I read your reviews but I do not watch the shows. Your reviews are better than the shows. They should just show you the shows privately so you can post your reviews, and show things on telly that I like instead all the time.

Why Leslie Ash ever thought she needed anything changed is a complete puzzle. Wasn't she gorgeous to start with? Certainly as far as I and those dumbasses in Men Behaving Badly were concerned.

lightupvirginmary said...

I think her husband destroyed her self esteem. Shame. What things do you want to watch on tv then?

Ossian said...

I like drama and satire. I don't count soaps as drama, or quasi-soaps such as BBC cop series of flouncing fops playing dress-up.

Tess of the d'Urbervilles is the business. There aren't very many good things to list. I'm watching Life on Mars series 1 belatedly on iPlayer - it's brilliant. There was an excellent single drama recently called something like "Rachel's (?) story" - about a couple where the man is done for paedophile porn.

I also like Have I Got News for You, because they debunk the pompous, Question Time because you never know what's going to be said.

There was a great mini drama series about global warming recently, Burn Up.

I can tolerate Graham Norton's show because it's so funny. Anything that's funny is ok. Jonathan Ross is not funny - he's a sad sack and a creep.

The last funny situation comedy that I'm aware of, was Love Soup. The rest are crass, unfunny, painfully dull.

The best drama series were: This Life, Boys from the Black Stuff, The Royle Family, Takin' Over the Asylum, The Key.

The biggest loss of all time is the weekly Play for Today. When will we ever get things like Penda's Fen, Blue Remembered Hills, Hard Labour, etc again?

How anybody can watch Big Brother, twits on an island or whatever it's called etc, I just don't know.