Thursday, 15 February 2007

The Sex Inspectors

Or perverts, as I like to call them. Watching unhappy couples have sex is strangely compelling. The sex inspectors just seem to enjoy it too much though, and their tips are RUBBISH. Seriously, they might work for a week, but six months down the line...? Is a deep-seated psychological issue going to be resolved by a vibrator or a sexy outfit? Is the fact you've been together ten years and you just can't fucking stand each other anymore? Methinks not.
There are FOUR episodes of this on this week, which seems excessive. The second couple, the dowdy wife and the karaoke-loving holiday rep guy who stopped shagging her to watch the FOOTBALL were a weird combination. She looked ten years older than him and it seemed directly his fault; rating her kisses out of ten (he gave her a four), and telling her his exes said he was the best kisser in the world. What a fucknut. I think the main sexual problem was that he was clearly GAY. What straight man plucks their eyebrows?
More to the point, what is up with these people's HOUSES? They are all decorated straight out of the 80s. if you have a flowery border cutting your room in half, sandpaper it OFF. These are the people who actually buy those DFS sofas! Seriously, gross. Artex ceilings, beech furnishings, upside-down uplifter lights = a bad sex life. There you go.

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