Britain's Next Top Model: Heels

No blog for a week, then you get two. Don't thank me, it's the least I could do.
So this week the girls were taught to dance by someone called Supple (!) who told Lightbulb Head to 'think like a stripper'. There's some aspirational stuff right there. She looked annoyed.
Then in a further masochistic twist they made the mogels walk in stupidly high heels. Seriously, I don't think almost breaking your ankle is that fashionable. I find it quite sadistic. In fact, a lot of things about fashion are- starving women to look like children, forcing them to take their kit off, making them wear painful things. Then the hilarious part is forcing the girl on the street to fork out for it. We really are stupid beyond words.
To emphasise my point, they then made them do a catwalk show wearing newspapers and screwed up paper for outfits.
Then some twat in a furry hat took pictures of them and generally treated them like dogshit. They must have had it in for Lightbulb Head this week, because they made her do a pole dancing picture. Just leave her alone, stop trying to sexualise her, you fucking pervert.
Then they got drunk, had a fight and one of them threw up. That's not entertainment, it's just a night out on any high street in England. No one appealed to me this week, it was just a big dull-fest. the pics were all quite crappy. The black girl went. She wasnt that great- but nor were any of 'em. Off with their heads (and Snowden's too)!

Britain's Next Top Model

The girls are already ten billion times more exciting and interesting looking than the last American lot, which was the worst series of ANTM EVER. I'm quite shocked as normally the British one is a complete chavalanche.
Obviously our host Lisa 'fucked George Clooney- so what?' Snowden is a personality vaccuum. They should get George's new bit of stuff to do it, she seems like good fun. But at the same time, you don't want to punch Snowden quite as much as Tyra.
The contestants: Ok I'm going to try and take down names cos I always get moaned at (aren't my descriptions good enough?) Sophie- very cute, Lily Allenish. One with a squarer jaw than a lego man (I forgot the name already!). One called Louise with the most bizarre two tone eyeshadow since 80s TV comedy 'Watching' (how the FUCK do I remember that? I'm SO OLD!) Oh and she's quite plain apart from that, although she looked alright in her picture. At least four or five are actually conventionally good looking, which is very rare for these model shows (Claire, Alexandra, Stephanie, Lauren, Charlotte). There's one called Lisa with kind of choppy layered hair who is interesting looking. There's one called LINZI who looks about 40. Sara- bolshy black girl. Rachael & Catherine- big noses. Leanne- nice lips and bright red hair. Martha, bit of a lightbulb head. Aaron- has a boys name. Aw no, she's quite cute. I like Leanne and Lisa best so far.
So they were asked to pose topless pressed against eachother and told it was about 'feminine empowerment'!!! I've heard it ALL now! Fucking hell, did they replace 'male wankfest' in the dictionary with 'feminine empowerment'? I wonder what they replaced gulliable with? Model?
There are new judges this year- some bloke in a flat cap, and some OAP called Huggy. Who the fuck were the judges before? I don't have a clue.
Aw Lily Allen girl went. She was pretty! The ones I like always leave rapidly. My taste sucks!