Blog fail/ Plug victory - catch Kenelis this Fri at the Barfly.

I've been a total arsehole in that I was meant to blog Kenelis at Indigo2 but I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a year and got so bloody pissed that I couldn't remember anything that happened at the gig. I do remember a couple of things actually. I remember thinking the set was too short. I also typed these words into my phone 'we could die any minute' so I can presume that was a high point. And they definitely played Jealous. Also the new Kenelis merch is rather good. I overestimated my size somewhat, but my boyfriend has been wearing the T-shirt.
Mel Sanson is my favourite rock frontwoman after Courtney Love, and that is high praise. I find most female rockers quite disingenuous, but Mel means every word, and I just love watching her every time, especially at Indigo2, which is a fantastic venue (but with overpriced drinks, which is why we turned up so drunk, like 12 year olds). She was belting them out as usual, and as usual was better than the rest of the line up. From what I can remember.
The band did a cover of These boots are made for walking by Moz's old buddy Nancy Sinatra, which you should definitely investigate. Now if only I could remember how to embed videos. What sort of blogger am I!?
My evening ended puking outside Morden tube, which I'm sure is how most evenings end outside Morden tube. I did go round the corner a few steps, at least. Bloody good fun, though.
For my proper review of Kenelis's last gig, see here. Or to see for yourself what they're like, cos they are supporting I Am Giant at the Barfly in Camden this Friday 13th April (not sure why it says July on that page, perhaps they're drunk, too?). I Am Giant might be good too, I'm going to check them out. Kenelis are on stage at 7.50pm and apparently it's going to sell out. I can't make it as I have a date with a rollercoaster (well, a train taking me to one) at 7.20am the next morning. But I'm sure Kenelis will be just as loud as Nemesis. Probably louder.

Kenelis Live at the IndigO2

It's not often you can say you liked something before almost everyone else, and for it to be actually true, but I might just have bragging rights here. Last night I went to Glow, which saw the launch of the Kenelis single Jealous. There were some other bands playing, but Kenelis pretty much blew them away.
I have to declare a vested interest. I've known Mel Sanson, the lead singer for about ten years, and used to go and see her play when she was a singer/songwriter sat on a stool at open mic gigs, and not shouting quite so loud (although she was still angry)! Although she's a friend, I've always respected her music (you know me, I wouldn't go and see a band twice I didn't like). Tonight just seemed like where it had all been leading up to.
The Indigo venue is amazing, I was gobsmacked by it. The location is obviously dogshit as it's hard to get to the dome, and the dome itself if a soulless airport hanger filled with boring restaurants. But the Indigo2 (I don't like writing that) was actually a little jewel inside. The stage is really high so you can see everything well, and it was really fucking loud, too. The support acts ranged from Ocean Colour Scene-alikes, to a band who seemed to be fronted by Mary from accounts who'd got lost after work. But they actually all put on a pretty good show.
I've never heard Mel's band sound so tight, and her voice sound so strong (although her accent sounds more London than I remember previously!). She can really scream. Her tunes are really great, too, my favourite song by a mile was Give Her The Gun, it was just so angry. Sick was really excellent, too. Her lyrics are really honest and raw and her tunes are catchy enough to sing along to. Mel was headbanging, dancing round, playing the keyboard, playing guitar, doing the foot-on-speaker posturing and had a really good connection with the crowd. The crowd looked much more excited than they had all night.
Mel was born to be a front woman and pretty much lives life as if she's famous already. I felt really proud to see her up on such a big stage. She's be brilliant as a massive rock singer because she's a lot more interesting as a person and performer than.. well, anything you saw at The Brits this week, for example.
I know for a fact people care passionately about Kenelis because I met someone with a gigantic Kenelis tattoo on their leg! You can't really get more dedicated (or mental) than that.
If you like angry female rock voices, you'd be mad not to check out Kenelis where you can see her videos and stuff. Oh and you can buy her new single Jealous on Monday on Itunes, woo. PS. My photo's not very good, cos my camera is shit.

Dear Carphone Warehouse: Fuck you.

If I don’t rant about this now, it will result in a heart attack at 35.
Two months ago someone from the Carphone Warehouse rang me about upgrading my IPhone. They said I could have unlimited texts and 600 minutes for £25 a month, plus £150 cashback (via cheque). I was happy with this (obviously!) and agreed. I also got an email confirming the plan.
The next month I noticed my bill was still the same. I called 02, who are my provider, and they said they had not heard from the Cuntphone Cockhouse and ‘maybe it was a hoax call’. I called the Carphone Warehouse (just those two words make me want to stab myself in the eye) and after trying to pass me back to O2 again, they eventually checked my records and saw the call had taken place. They assured me that the information would be passed to 02 ‘over the weekend’ and that my cheque had ‘already been issued’.
I left it a week and called 02 again. I am now in the process of moving house, so very stressed anyway. They had heard nothing from the carphone warehouse. They offered to change the plan for me direct, but then I wouldn’t get the cheque, so tried carphone warehouse again. After someone trying to pass me back to O2 once again, they finally called up my notes. This person said there had been ‘a connection error’ and neither the upgrade (nor the cheque- no shit) had been issued. To add to this shitstorm of uselessness, I had to go to a Carphone Cunthouse store to sort out the problem! When I asked why I had not been told that the previous week, he said ‘if you’d called me, I would have told you that.’ Apparently my whole account was set up wrong and needed to be reissued. By this time, two months have passed and I’m losing money on my bill (as I was texting as if my plan was ‘unlimited’.) When I said I would just go back to 02 and get their upgrade, the guy said ‘you cant do that because we own the phone’.
It gets better. On Monday I trundled down to the Carphone Twatshop and the shop was closed with a sign stuck in the window saying ‘back shortly’. I stood there for ten minutes in the cold for the guy to come out and say very rudely ‘we’re closed.’ When I said I’d been standing there 10 minutes he said ‘I’ve only been gone for 1 minute’. Must have been a long one minute because in that time another customer had driven up, stood chatting to me for five minutes, tried to call the number on the front of the shop, then given up and gone again.
After this I sent off an email and today the Princess of Carphone Cuntheads emailed back to say ‘you still have to go in the store, and your cheque is for £60.’ She barely addressed ANY of my problems.
Hilariously, I then went back to the shop where I got told (by quite a nice man, oddly) the offer I got was ' a retention offer which WAS ONLY AVAILABLE VIA PHONE! I know, it’s funny, isn’t it?
When I started crying again they said that basically I should leave the carphone warehouse and get my billing via 02, as they could not do the upgrade for me. They said I now 'own the phone' contrary to the guy on the phone I spoke to who said I'd have to give the phone back if I got my billing through 02! Honestly, there might as well be a Carphone Warehouse magic 8 ball that you go and shake for answers for all the continuity of information you get.
I still have no fucking idea what I’m doing. If I ever got that cheque I think I’d drop down dead. The ironic part is I didn't even ring to ask for an upgrade in the first place: THEY RANG ME!
Having to deal with shit like this genuinely makes me want to commit suicide. The thought of another 50 years of this bullshit makes me just want to go and inject some heroin and be done with it. Then I wouldn’t even have an IPhone, I could just sell it for crack.